Parent Wedding Present Query

[Prudie]

There is no right or wrong answer to this, I would just be interested in what others did or would do in these circumstances.
Only daughter is getting married. The couple have arranged all the wedding themselves and made their personal choices for the whole thing within their budget. Parents have given them money towards it, let's say a few thousand. Would you expect the parents to also give an actual tangible wedding present as well?

[MissTerious2]

True Choux we all have different ideas and different life styles I could never have got married in a wedding dress.

[Maydup]

Yes, I think so. Something from the list that likely to be kept for a very long time rather than a kitchen appliance for example. Or a small gift of their choosing.

[Vagus]

We did similar to you MissT, couldn’t ever imagine myself in a white dress, using the church for something we didn’t believe in. Or all the fuss. Everyone thought I was pregnant due to our register office wedding..ha ha! His father thought there’d be 50 people getting married at the same time, more ha ha!
We all do what we feel is right, I’d never criticise anyone for how they decide to marry..merengue frock, bikini, or not at all (three of ours haven’t and probably never will, doesn’t matter to me at all).
Just be happy.

[MissTerious2]

I am very much with you on this Vagus. My daughter in law made their invites and wrote don't worry about ties, the groom won't be wearing one. The groom actually wore boots, a striped grey and black shirt, informal trousers and a casual jacket. She did wear a dress though. But not a wedding dress.

[Vagus]

My sister had had a very formal wedding the previous year, having married someone in the RAF, must have cost our parents a packet! They had the whole works, including an arch of ceremonial swords as they exited the church.
We had a small wedding meal, about 20 people, immediately after the register offer, then a huge party in the evening, a big rave up!
Our children who have married, all two of them, have done exactly what they wanted, one had their wedding and reception in a zoo which was very interesting and informal.
The others can do as they like, I care not, as long as they’re happy.

[Vagus]

Sorry, prudie, gone off topic somewhat.
If you feel happier and more comfortable getting them something, then that’s what I’d do.
What do they say, you never regret the things you do, only the things you don’t do…or something like that!

[pastafreak]

My first was in church...because it was expected though it was just close family. I wore a medieval looking embroidered dress with flowers in my hair. A meal out after paid for by my mum. I didn't want or expect her to do any more.
Second was in a registry office, me in a silk day dress. A party in our flat that lasted into the early hours. I think my mum gave us money then. No honeymoon either time.
I suspect my daughter would do it the same way.

[Peter Pedant]

No: done that, and a card suffices
teddy bear then

[Vagus]

Pasta, your first one sounds lovely, especially your outfit.
I didn’t know you’d been married twice.. not that it matters, I was just surprised. I think you and I would get on well n real life :)

[Prudie]

Firstly thanks everyone, given me a lot of food for thought. Please carry on talking about your weddings, it's really interesting. I've had 3 :-) Thing is times have changed dramatically for the better in many ways, people can do their own thing now but it used to be much more formal and awash with etiquette.
My first wedding I was only 22 ish and my mother controlled the whole lot, a pretty Dorset church not in my parish so friends of my parents who were agreed to say I lived with them for the Banns etc, white rolls royce, yacht club reception, no dancing, no evening do, loads of guests I didn't know. No present list so given things that we joke about now, even got a hostess trolley!! My mother fumed because a guest from my husband's family brought her children and they weren't wearing any socks!!
My second wedding was in a registry office and my third (and by far the best) was on a beach in Barbados.

[MissTerious2]

Wow, a beach in Barbados! How good is that!

We got married 6 or 7 weeks after we made the decision in a Restaurant in Spain. We were both inebriated. We were not really an item! Everbody said it would never last

I wore a purple outfit with flared trousers and purple platform suede boots. Had long blonde hair back then.

Married in registry office on a Monday morning. Then back to my parental home for drinks. No honeymoon. He went back on nightshift on Wednesday at Luton Airport. I went job searching.

51 years ago, so it did last. And until recent years we've led a very varied life

[johnk]

I gave cash so that they could buy what they wanted and my daughter some emergency money for when they were away.