Do I Message Him Or Let Him Message Me?
Family & Relationships1 min ago
Joyless Black Hole
66 Answers
What on earth is wrong with (some) people on here?
For a worryingly large number of ABers, it seems that the only purpose in visiting this site is to ensure that anyone having some fun themselves (or celebrating the success of others) is rubbished, and all the life is sucked out of even the most innocuous of threads.
I've seen politics threads derailed with irrelevant sexist rubbish, a whole plethora of attacks on anyone prepared to say "well done wales", snide comments about pensioners, ex-pats being sneered at, as well as rather too much casual racism for my liking - and that's just in the last 24 hours.
It's a bizarre version of the "tall poppy syndrome", where anyone who is even remotely happy, or achieving at bit more than others, has to be cut down to size.
This site can only thrive when some people are prepared to be "net contributors" who add value to the site by their freely given input.
At the moment the "value adders" seem (unfortunately) to be being outnumbered by "black holers" who seem to gain their own joy by hurting and/or disparaging others, whilst contributing very little positivity themselves. It's no surprise to see fewer and fewer people prepared to raise their heads above the parapet, when it merely invites abuse. People can (and do) just walk away - and I can't say I blame them.
I'm not naming names (and would encourage others not to do so either), but a significant number of regulars need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask the reflection (if indeed there is one) a few hard questions about whether this particular cap fits.
For a worryingly large number of ABers, it seems that the only purpose in visiting this site is to ensure that anyone having some fun themselves (or celebrating the success of others) is rubbished, and all the life is sucked out of even the most innocuous of threads.
I've seen politics threads derailed with irrelevant sexist rubbish, a whole plethora of attacks on anyone prepared to say "well done wales", snide comments about pensioners, ex-pats being sneered at, as well as rather too much casual racism for my liking - and that's just in the last 24 hours.
It's a bizarre version of the "tall poppy syndrome", where anyone who is even remotely happy, or achieving at bit more than others, has to be cut down to size.
This site can only thrive when some people are prepared to be "net contributors" who add value to the site by their freely given input.
At the moment the "value adders" seem (unfortunately) to be being outnumbered by "black holers" who seem to gain their own joy by hurting and/or disparaging others, whilst contributing very little positivity themselves. It's no surprise to see fewer and fewer people prepared to raise their heads above the parapet, when it merely invites abuse. People can (and do) just walk away - and I can't say I blame them.
I'm not naming names (and would encourage others not to do so either), but a significant number of regulars need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask the reflection (if indeed there is one) a few hard questions about whether this particular cap fits.
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Spot on, Dave......and I'll add the posters who seem to lurk around for X or Y to start a thread.....and immediately make a rude and personal remark about the poster rather than addressing the content of the post.
Often happens in news and it just stops others posting because we know exactly where it's going....x
Often happens in news and it just stops others posting because we know exactly where it's going....x
"Why not voice your opinion on the individual threads? "
Because it's a general attitude rather than any one specific post, Talbot.
Pointing out an individual bit of snidery usually produces a knee-jerk reaction from the serial offenders of "it's just in fun" or "egg shell personality" or "surely my opinion is allowed".
Which might be true in any one case, but when it is dozens of "nasty, but not quite nasty enough to get me suspended" posts the cumulative effect is just soul destroying and the targets either bite back or (more often) just quietly wanders off to more hospitable climes.
Because it's a general attitude rather than any one specific post, Talbot.
Pointing out an individual bit of snidery usually produces a knee-jerk reaction from the serial offenders of "it's just in fun" or "egg shell personality" or "surely my opinion is allowed".
Which might be true in any one case, but when it is dozens of "nasty, but not quite nasty enough to get me suspended" posts the cumulative effect is just soul destroying and the targets either bite back or (more often) just quietly wanders off to more hospitable climes.
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