Confused.com!

[Smowball]

I'm sure you are all sick of my late night ramblings but its the only me time I get to think straight. I'm just not sure if my hubbie has a personality prob, a strange behaviour trait, or if its just me!
This morn his mum rang and said she was popping over to give my son his easter egg. Got off phone and hubbie said we might as well go and collect it as he needed to finish a repair at their house, so i called her and said we would be over in an hour. I anticipated being there no more than an hour. Was in kitchen 5 mins later and phone rang, hubbie answered. Didnt hear who is was or what was said. Got to their house and they poured me a glass of wine. Offered a 2nd and I said no am driving and got very puzzled look. You're staying for dinner they said. Looked at hubby and said are we?? Oh, they rang and invited us for dinner earlier. He hadnt mentioneed it, I looked a wally and in fact we didnt leave there till 11pm and I thought we were going over for a cup of tea!! Why didnt he tell me??

[mike11111]

Probably just you, pet.

[Smowball]

So we have been invited for lunch, oh and did I say also dinner, were there for 10 hrs, I think its just a cup of tea as per original fone call and he knows otherwise and didnt see fit to tell me?? lol

[Mamyalynne]

http://friendfinder.c...nt_admin_article.html

[Smowball]

Thanks mamy

[MrIncredible]

maybe he did'nt tell you in case you said no and then he would have to ring his mum back and make up some excuse as to why not to stay for dinner! maybe he feels a bit like piggy in the middle trying to keep you and his mum happy! but he should have told you or even better asked! BUT 10 hours at your in-laws!!! Thats my idea of hell! 10 minutes and i'm trying to think of excuses to go, mind you I think mine have picked up on my vibes because they haven't invited us over for a meal in over 8 years!!!!!

[Smowball]

Lol, no. I get on incredibly well with his parents, they are just fantastic. But had I (and my son!) known it was a long haul day then we would have been prepared. Son would have taken things to do or play with and i would have taken some wine etc.

[naomi24]

As a couple, communication doesn’t seem to be your strong point. Perhaps you should talk to him about that.

[lady-janine]

i'm confused. why would his mother say she was popping over with your son's easter egg is you were going over there for the day?

[naomi24]

Lady Janine, As far as I understand it, this is how it went.

Mother in law rang to say she was coming to theirs with the Easter egg.

Then they rang her back to say they would go to hers instead so the husband could finish a job there.

Then mother in law rang them back to invite them to lunch and dinner, but the husband answered the call and didn't tell Smowball about the invitation, so Smowball still thought they were only going for an hour but ended up being there for ten hours.

I think that's right.

[boxtops]

That would have really annoyed me - especially if I'd planned what I was going to do for the day, didn't mind a quick trip out, but certainly hadn't planned to be out all day. I hate surprises like that.

[lady-janine]

thanks for that naomi. now all is clear. agree with boxy especially if there was something i particularly wanted to do. imo i think i'm pretty good at going with the flow but not being consulted now that would have annoyed me quite a bit.

having read the previous threads think that communication, or lack of, is a bit of a problem. don't know the answer i'm sorry to say. wish i could offer some words of wisdom.

[naomi24]

Boxy, me too - but it wouldn't have happened to me. Neither my husband nor I would have have accepted the invitation without asking the other one if they wanted to go. From reading some of Snowball's posts,
communication between her and her husband seems to be a problem.

[friedgreentomato]

Seems to me that if you communicated more then this and all your other problems would'nt occur!

[Hopkirk]

FGT, it's not Smowball who needs to do the communicating.

[starone]

I would have said, "Oh dear, OH didn't tell me,I'll just have to pop back home for a short while to get some things for Johnny to play with or he will be bored all day". And I would have done just that, fuming all the time of course. He would have looked the wally, not you. I reckon you will have to accept him as he is with all his vagaries, or split up with all the recriminations. 11 p.m. - a bit late for Johnny to be up and out with the adults? (Fill in correct name for son)

[naomi24]

Smowball, you're asking us why he didn't tell you, but have you actually asked him why he didn't tell you?

[ummmm]

You should question him more smowball. It's not being intrusive, that's what people do. If my OH's phone went off, 9 times out of 10 I'd ask him who it was, and vice versa. I/we don't want the details of the conversations, It's just what we do.

[friedgreentomato]

I disagree Hopkirk, she seems happier to communicate with us on here about her problems than she does with her husband.

[naomi24]

^^ We do that too.

[naomi24]

That last was to Ummmm.