Mad Over Fifties Club

[nungate]

Good evening and welcome to AB's Mad Over Fifties Club. Igor is on hand for the concealment of all cloaks, outer garments and broomsticks (please note aforementioned items are left at owners risk, we cannot guarantee the safe return of items left in Igor's care.)
As we maintain the Winter Olympics theme of the past few weeks, our Tailcock for tonight will be the "Icy Curl" (I wonder why.....?)
On our hot plate tonight we offer Steak and Ale pie with creamy mash, and peas. As always we have a selection of horses doovers, canopies and volly vonts, and on the pudding trolley Lemon and Sultana steamed sponge and custard (cream is also available)
The Minstrels are warming up in the Gallery (as usual) practising their Madrigals and toccattas, if you happen to be a music lover I'd advise against visiting the Music room this evening, the local hairy beardies folk singing group has been booked (not by me) and they will be performing traditional folk songs in there (no doubt wearing aran pullovers and one hand clasped firmly over one ear) In the ballroom we have DJ Funky Freddie for those members wishing to dance ............. (who booked these guys?)
Again I must remind members that the Bungee is not in operation until the spring and the hot tub has been relocated down to the dungeons by the indoor swimming pool. (mini bar too) The ice rink is still available for use as is the ski slope and the "sliding" track thingy - loads of trays for sliding too!
The library is fully stocked, and a lovely fire burns in the hearth, we also have all the latest magazines and periodicals for members use too, in fact I understand that we have the latest edition of "Mechanics for Lady Embroiderers" hot off the press.... there is a nice fire in the snug too for members wishing a quieter evening, the games room is primed and ready for those wishing to play. Be aware that strip tiddlywinks is strictly forbidden.
Anyone wishing to go for a wander in the conservatory is reminded not to feed the triffid.
Apologies have been received from Daisynonna who will not be in attendance this evening (Igor is devastated!) due to receiving a better offer but she has sent her spare broom Ernie with an offering for the rofl in the shape of and LP by the Dutch College Swing Band ............. mmm yeess!
Speaking of the rofl, I have to offer
2 door handles (broken)
Box of felt tip pens (all dry)
Pair of speed skates (thank you Elise, you wuz robbed!!!)
Year's subscription to Cow Puncher's Weekly

Would members please note anyone wishing to stay overnight in the guest suites in the West Wing should inform Belle ahead of time so that the suites can be prepared

A warm welcome awaits all who enter these portals

carriages at midnight

[Igor61]

I have brought you a selection of tonight's goodies on a tray Madame Anne, please enjoy, would you like a top up? I have the jug of ginger beer too

[queenofmean]

Lol Anne, no not at all.

[tonyav]

Did you use those shoes with the 'Heels' though, Queenie ?.

[anneasquith]

igor, how kind, a top up would be lovely. would you like to join me in the moat later for a wee dip ?

[nungate]

Anne, all our rooms are en suite, especially the family's chambers. The guest suites are most comfortable, all en suite, with a little sitting room and all mod cons. The housemaids (supervised by the lovely Belle) turn down the beds and run baths etc. for all our guests. They do not however leave chocolates on the pillow, sometimes our guest miss them and the stains on my bed linens are difficult to remove

[tonyav]

Bloody hell, anne, are you mad there are piranhas in the moat. And boy do they bite I should know, I still have to rub savlon on my tender bum !.

[queenofmean]

no Tony they have been put away until the next outing. I was using my Hockey Stick

[Igor61]

Swimming in the moat is not advised on account of the piranhas - Madame had them installed there as some miscreant (we know who....no names, no pack drill)
stole the moat last year. We do have an indoor pool and a hot tub located in the dungeons, the weather being far too inclement for the hot tub to be in its proper place, on top of the north tower, and Madame has converted the outdoor pool into the skating rink, besides I do not swim, not with my chains they would tarnish and as everyone knows my chains are my pride and joy

[tonyav]

Do you still play hockey, Queenie ?.

[tonyav]

Swimming in the moat is not advised on account of the piranhas - Madame had them installed there as some miscreant (we know who....no names, no pack drill)
stole the moat last year.


Doh, Igor knows.

[Igor61]

my lips are sealed

though if I know, so does Madame

[anneasquith]

well, im nor doing any ice skating, im only just back from sochi, and my thighs are aching :(

[Igor61]

Did I mention that the indoor pool is heated, and we have a selection of costumes for members use (by the way they are all brand new, never been used,
Madame always replaces any that are used, most hygienic)

[queenofmean]

No sadly I don't Tony, truth be told I hated hockey

[tonyav]

Doh, so does madam!.


To many whacks around the ankles, Queenie.

[queenofmean]

No my shin pads covered my ankles. I just hated PE at school, with all the trouble with my knees I did find all the charging about made them worse.

[Igor61]

You seem surprised Tony, sir. Madame is like Santa Claus or God, she knows everything that goes on here, she has spies everywhere, or else she must have or else a crystal ball or cameras

[Igor61]

please remember and forgive any errors in my language English is not my first language

[tonyav]

It's ok Igor, I get the picture. Madame has eyes everywhere !.

Yeah, PE wouldn't have done your knees any good at all then, Queenie.

[anneasquith]

are you welsh igor ?