Drinking quotes

[ieatbees]

can anyone tell me some good drinking quotes, ideally funny ones please!

[Quizmonster]

Here's one for when you are drinking a toast to a lady...

Here's to your eyes and mine, dear:
Here's to your thighs and mine.
The former have met,
The latter not yet...
Here's hoping!

[nigidivitch]

Beer...  The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. Homer Simpson

[Xollob]

• "An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn't want to drink with even if he did."
• "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." (Dean Martin)
• Once... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days." (W C Fields)

All these and more under the Wikiquote pages for alcohol, beer and wine.

[kosoro]

Here's to you as good as you are,

And here's to me as bad as i am,

But as good as you are,

And as bad as i am

I'm as good as you are,

As bad as i am...

[nect4r]

Always do sober what you said you'll do when drunk. That'll teach you to keep your mouth shut. (Ernest Hemingway I believe!)

[delboy3]

Famous 'argument' between Winston Churchill and a lady MP. Don't know the exact words, but something like:

Lady MP: My God man, you're drunk!

Churchill:  And you are ugly, lady; but in the morning I shall be sober

[Mrs_Pegasus]

"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?"
Henry Youngman.

"The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
Arthur Lewis

"Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk."
Christopher Howse

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis

"A woman drove me to drink, and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her."
WC Fields

[Loosehead]

" I earned a fortune in my time, I spent millions on booze, drugs and women, and squandered the rest"

George Best

[Clare A]

Definition of an alcoholic - someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

[Andy008]

"Drinking was never a problem until I needed a new liver"

George Best.

[kazza_cy]

 

I've decided i'm not drinking any more, then again i'm not drinking any less!

Never trust a man who doesn't drink!

[brachiopod]

I'd rather a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.