Do you find some sayings, expressions funny

[emmie]

i do, sometimes you see or hear something that makes you smile or laugh.
Throwing the toys out of the pram,
any you would like to share.

[Quizmonster]

Clanad, a heli-pilot once said to me, as I sat in the left-hand seat, "This thing has all the glide characteristics of a bag of Portland cement." As a matter of interest, as we were on a post-servicing trial flight, he then switched the engine off! As you see, I lived to tell the tale.

[Philtaz]

Some of my faves that I use from time to time:

About as much use as a handbrake on a canoe.
About as much use as a whicker canoe.
Couldn't organise a pillow fight in a dormitory.
Would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
Got a flash-to-bang time of 30 seconds.
About as much use as a catflap on a submarine.
About as much use as t!ts on a snake.
Looks as though he has only just learned to walk upright.

[JonnyBoy12]

"She is all teeth and t*ts, not a brain in her head".

[emmie]

all fur coat and no knickers, lol

[pretty_snowdrop]

As slack as a bag of knackers.

[Answerprancer]

...got a face like a bulldog licking p!ss off a thistle.
...so ugly, he looks as if his face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a cricket bat.
...I can't dance, when I try to dance I look like a three legged dog trying to bury his p!ss on a frozen lake.

[owdhamer]

If his brains were dynamite they wouldn't blow his hat off

[emmie]

that last one i believe is a Dorothy Parker quote, i know it as
if brains were gunpowder he wouldn't have enough to blow his hat off
and another attributed to her.
Men don't make passes at Girls who wear glasses.

[Clanad]

Q... it's called "autorotation"... if the power is reduced (or in the case of engine failure, lost toally) the control called a "collective" is lowered from whatever position it happened to be in which allows the upward rushing air to "autorotate" or spin the main rotors... this allows the helicopter to descend, albeit rapidly... exceptionally rapidly... but under control. The real "pucker factor" comes at the bottom of the maneuver when the same "collective" control is again raised... ever so gently so as to retain rotor speed and allow a "flare"... and landing from the kinetic energy inherent in the rotor system...
I never got past that cycle of helicopter training myself when I decided that the sun rising over Mt. McKinley viewed from the left seat of Boeing 727 at 35,000 feet was a much bettter choice...
I give a tip of the cap to any good "rotor-head"... but on the radio they all talk funny (because of the vibrations of the rotors) and they're always worried... to many moving parts to keep flying in some semblance of a formation!
By the way, how'd the "French Connection" go? I was green with envy...
(Please excuse the mini-hijack, em10).

[emmie]

clanad no problem not sure what it all about but sounds interesting.

[Quizmonster]

Yes, C, I knew the rotor was still turning...I checked!..and the pilot landed superbly, skidding along on the desert gravel before firing-up and taking off again.
I always found pilots to be a happy band and assumed it had a lot to do with the fact - as you mention - that they spend most of their working lives in the sunshine, far above the cloud-cover which impacts the rest of humanity.
Sadly, the French trip last Saturday was a non-starter. Overnight there was a severe Force 9 gale in the Channel with sea-state 'very rough' and the weather forecast for our destination read, 'windy with heavy showers'. All-in-all, it seemed best avoided, as the trip over was in a catamaran ferry. I'm booked again, though, three weeks hence.

MY apologies, too, Em.

[starone]

Couldn't organise a p!ss-up in a brewery.(my husband's saying not mine)
RATTER that is completely wrong it is Patience is a virtue possess it if you can, seldom found in women and never found in man.
A sandwich short of a picnic.
He hasn't got a penny to scratch his arse with.

[emmie]

the elevator doesn't stop on all floors, i heard that years ago.

[emmie]

Dorothy Parker
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

[fourteen85]

He's got a nose like a blind cobblers thumb

[cupid04]

I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail, yes I would!

[mrchirpy]

"He walks like he's got a meat pie up his arse"

(That's one of my old mothers.)

[horseshoes]

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

[emmie]

face like a slapped backside,

[Quizmonster]

Or, Em, like a skelpit erse for Scots.