How Does Everyone Else Feel About This?

[faco21]

I feel it's wrong for my son to email his former teacher to ask if it's okay if he visits her classroom in school because she's married and he is the opposite gender of her.She is a married 25 year old teacher therefore it's wrong for my son to ask if it's okay if he visits the school.Her husband will be jealous and upset about this because it's wrong.If my son was a female I would be perfectly fine with my daughter emailing this teacher to ask this teacher if it's okay if she visits the school but since my son is a male,it's wrong.

[Mamyalynne]

You give no age for your son or reason why he wishes to contact this ex teacher - those facts could be relevant.

[Mamyalynne]

Welcome to AB.

[stuey]

I think that the difference in sex is completely immaterial. The important thing, I would think, is that you just cannot barge into a classroom, or perhaps anywhere in a school, without a valid reason.

[stuey]

I'm assuming that this son is an adult; perhaps I shouldn't.

[Tilly2]

Your son should be asking the Headteacher/Principal, not the teacher. He should also have a valid reason for visiting.

[Mamyalynne]

He may well be,he must be younger than the teacher who is 25, so still young.

If he wishes to thank her for teaching him , then a formal thank you card via school is the best policy.

[stuey]

I was thinking an adult because the OP mentioned a potentially jealous husband.

[Mamyalynne]

Yes, he could be older than the married teacher who is 25 - I wrongly presumed he would be younger as I say above.

[faco21]

I think gender does make a big difference if it's appropriate for a former student to visit a former teacher or not.My son is 18.If my were to be a female,I would be perfectly fine with my daughter visiting this teacher.

[Mamyalynne]

What are his reasons?

[faco21]

I know nothing about the husband but I really do think gender makes a really big difference if it's okay are not.If my son was a female,I would be perfectly fine with her visiting this teacher since they are the same gender.It's wrong no matter what and the reasons are irrelevant unless he's wants to visit her to strictly get a teachers reference from her and even then I feel he could find a different teacher that is same gender as him.

[sherrardk]

Gender doesn't come in to it - ex-students should keep away from school full stop.

[eanceoil]

Why can't you say same sex? even if they were same sex, he could fancy her if he were a she, do you think he fancies her? He's 18, why is your adult son telling you who he plans on e-mailing. If he e-mails her and it's all innocent and she only sees him as past pupil she will show her hubby and maybe her superiors as maybe it could get nasty and she'll think he could be trouble.

[faco21]

I asked my son if he fancies her and he keeps telling me not at all even tho I don't believe him since he is a male and not a female. Also my son has a girlfriend who is also 18 years old and she graduated the same time as my son did.She shouldn't be talking to him at all unless it's strictly about school stuff and that's it since my son has graduated.I wonder how my son's girlfriend feels about this?

[eanceoil]

So the teacher is in contact with him? Is she telling him back off or encouraging him. It's too vague for me to think about anymore

[Mamyalynne]

We are simply going round in circles.

If he wants a reference,a formal written request via school.

If he wants to thank her for her teaching, a written card via school.

If he has designs on her,advise him it will only end up in tears or a busted nose.

[askyourgran]

It seems he has designs on the teacher, otherwise if he wanted to find out something he would have approached the Headmaster. How did he get the teacher's email address anyway? The lad should be told to back off unless he has a valid reason for contacting her, imhop.

[Retrochic]

what a weird post. Your son is an adult even if you think he is still your little baby. How so you know what her husband would think - if told he may have a laugh about it with his wife 'oh he's got a crush on me bless him' Nothing that may or could happen would be illegal. If he likes this teacher so what? She may tactfully tell him she's married and not interested and he has learnt a valuable lesson, she may want an affair with him and in the UK its not illegal he is of the age of consent. Stop interfering and let nature take its course,whatever that may be.

[faco21]

People from other website keep tell me it's okay as long as my son doesn't have any romantic feels for her but it's wrong no matter what. If my son was however a female,it would be perfectly fine.