Just had a phone call from my niece

[pericat]

She is a recovering alcoholic and wants to come out today for a chat - apparently it's something she has to do ??? I hate these situations and never know how to handle them - any ideas ?

[Bobbisox]

Oh Peri this is very sad, how old is she?
Bobbi ♥

[Sachs]

Just be yourself peri x

[pericat]

23

[unrulyjulie]

i agree with Sachs. Just be yourself and let her talk about stuff if she wants to.

[Bobbisox]

I really feel for this girl, as Sachs has said, just be yourself and I prayer whatever it is she has to do is a positive
Good Luck
Bobbi ♥

[McMouse]

Don't come across as judgemental, just be supportive and welcoming.

[20SilkCut]

If it was me Peri - i would listen to her, be non-judgemental, offer support and friendship and basically just be there for her. She is obviously trying to get herself back in a stable way of being and it sounds like she is trying to build up her self-esteem and social skills and that will be important to her. Just be the lovely auntie you are...'nuff said!

[China Doll]

If she's in rehab maybe it's part of the counselling? Just a thought, I don't really know... Just listen I guess.

[society]

Perhaps she's decided to change her life-style for the better and is looking to you for advice and moral support.

[pericat]

She has become a lovely person now but was a complete user - her mother - my sister is a bit of a user too and they both dragged out of me during a time when I took most responsibility for my over bearing mother - had 3 small kids - and was in constant pain - I would prefer that to be forgotten and left in the past and just move on as I don't want to be straight with her about how I used to feel

[mccfluff]

sit there with a bottle of wine...... :-P

just let her talk i guess, see what happens from there - you have to deal with your mum - you can handle this!

[chelle7272]

If she is ona programme then it could be something she has to do for this, face anyone she beleives she may have hurt / angered / upset or affected in any way when she was reliant on alcohol.
Just listen to what she has to say, be yourself, and let her know you appreciate it's a hard thing to do.

Good luck x

[Ankou]

there you are then. encourage her to talk about the future. a brighter future.

[China Doll]

To be honest, if you're not up for it then I would just phone and say that you don't want to, it's within you rights to not feel up to it and want to be left alone. I'd probably do that if I wasn't in the mood.

[Sachs]

May be she wants forgiveness from you peri x If you feel uncomfortable delving in to the past, just say you're happy to forgive and leave what's done in the past x

[Bobbisox]

looks like you are a crutch for your sister and so on peri, you have to be kind but firm and establish to them you have your own family to prioritise, but listen to the girl also, a fine balancing act will be needed.
Bobbi ♥

[pericat]

She is not in rehab any more - and is moving on nicely with her life . Her family lived in Brussels - they moved there when she was 8 and she never settled and came back here as a wild teen for holidays and a lot of the hassle fell on me

[jackthehat]

http://en.wikipedia.o...i/Twelve-step_program

Sounds like it step 8 or 9.............

Well done to her.

You don't have to pull your punches ..............and it may help you both move forwards if you are (brutally) honest. Then you can seek to close a door on it all :o)

[pericat]

This is all great advice - it's calming me down - I don't want to do it but I think if she feels she has to I might as well get it over with . My problem is I feel guilty for any negative feelings I may have - in fact I'm a great big ball of guilt !

[Sachs]

There's always negative feelings when you are somehow connected to a 'drinker' My brother is a 'drinker' Don't feel guilt x