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Mikaeel

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hellywelly4 | 15:57 Mon 20th Jan 2014 | News
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This will be very controversial I know, but please believe me when I say I'm not being judgmental, just curious.
Why do people take toys to the sites where flowers are laid for people who have had tragic deaths?
I can understand it with flowers as we have always used flowers as a tribute, but the toys have only seemed to start recently.
Also where do they go afterwards?

I do hope I don't offend anyone with this question.
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For media attn imo.

Diana toys etc were gathered by WRVS (my lot) & donated to community centre jumble sale.
Peter Pedant

/// AOG - I pick out AngloSaxons specifically because they were the ones interviewed with the question ///

How did you know they were Anglo Saxons, this took place in Scotland so I would have thought that they would have been Celts.
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That is a great article in the DM although very harsh. I wonder how much these other children will be scarred by what they have been forced to hear about? The fact that King George VI 'died in his sleep' in 1952 affected me very badly, (I was 11) and I was afraid to go to sleep for many, many years. It's only comparatively recently that we found out he had lung cancer.
So - this little boy's mummy has (possibly) killed him will frighten the living daylights out of most of these little ones. They don't need to know that. It's a minefield, isn't it.
Carol Sarler's opinion pieces are tagged with 'Are You Thinking What She's Thinking?' - and I usually think ' 'I hope not!' and I avoid reading them, but on this occasion, i do agree with her.

As I stated in an earlier post, this mawkish desire to jump on a grief train is an unfortunate aspect of modern culture - but it's there, and we have to live with it.
Also why do adults drag their young children to these tasteless shrines and gatherings and make them deposit a teddy? God forbid if something like this happened to my family I would tell these ghouls to keep away, if they want to contribute, put some money in a charity box.
Being a Time Team fan, I can't help thinking of these gifts in the context of "grave goods" or "votive offerings".

Makes you wonder if we're slowly drifting back towards pagan culture and practices.

For some of us, it's sufficient to keep our sympathies for his family to ourselves, or talk with our friends about it. For those living closer to the incident, maybe there is just a natural tendency to be a bit more demonstrative in showing how you feel. It may only be a token item but it's the sentiment that matters, as the saying goes.

Viewed from a distance, it does have a hint of exhibitionism about it but I don't live there and it's really none of my business how they choose to do it.

// I find all of it self-indulgent and mawkish, to be honest. I don't like flowers tied to lamp posts near fatal accidents, either. //

I'm surprised that flowers tied to lampposts don't cause another accident by attracting drivers attention.

WR.
they don;t distract as much as having a bicycle tied to a lamppost as is the case in the capital, painted white to show that a cyclist has died at that junction. Or on roads where there is an RTA and drivers slow down to gawp,
Riding a motorbike over the cellophane that has become adrift can be pretty hairy, especially in the wet.
The only place where i found the leaving of physical objects to have a resonance and relavence, was the Viet Nam Memorial in Washington.

If an vets' deaths are attributed to war injuries, their names are still added, so there are half-a-dozen new names added every year.

All the 'physical' memories are collected by volunteer attendents at the end of each day, and stored.

There are plans for a memorial museum to be built, but it has to come from public subscription - the government does not fund memorials.

One guide told me of some of the things left - a wedding dress by a bride whose dad was not there to walk her down th aisle, a $10 bill left - an unpaid debt before the lender was drafted - it's all heartbreaking.

The biggest item so far is a brand new Harley Davidson motorcycle, which still has the dealer tags attached. It was left by the wall one day, and the volunteers tracked down the people who had left it. It was a local biker gang who had saved up and bought the bike to leave - 'In case any of the brothers need a ride ...'

Now that is a memorial worth having - very different from the way people here do it, because only people connected leave things, there is no mass 'mourn-in' from needy strangers.
i suppose it seems for more fitting for a child - children aren't interested in flowers or wreaths, so perhaps it just feels like its something the child would have liked
perhaps some even believe that the child can play with it in the next life.

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