Why Oh Why Does A Funeral Bring Out The Very Worst In People???

[Bobbisox1]

Already the squabbling has started and the funeral isn't till next Thursday , his sister who's done sod all wants this that and the other done on the order of service which should go to print today, I want to erupt but can't for my friends sake Arghhhh,they never had any family , she's got a nephew in NZ and he has a sister , that's it , certain things have to be signed and witnessed but not by a family member !

And breathe

[gingejbee]

...a very good reason for having no funeral.
I, and several people I know, have opted for "direct cremation"....no funeral, no squabbles!

[Bobbisox1]

What a splendid idea ginger :0)

[ToraToraTora]

yep I agree dispose of body as cheaply as possible then use the money that you would have given to an undertaker for a monumental peace up. Then at that you can all wax lyrical as you would have at the usual place, everyone's a winner except the parasites who make money by emotional blackmailing relatives after death.

[gingejbee]

I arranged one two years ago and was well impressed.....I'd have no hesitation in using these people again.

https://www.purecremation.co.uk/?utm_term=pure%20cremation&utm_source=google&;utm_medium=cpc&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIht6lwda96wIVAu7tCh3MAQHMEAAYASAAEgLfmfD_BwE

[BAKERS DOZEN]

Mr BD and I have also decided on direct cremation. Main reason is not to line the pockets of funeral directors but also to avoid all the antics that can happen when at funerals. Will tell people when its all over and done with.

[SparklyKid]

Hi Bobbi, it certainly does. I did not speak to my sister for six years after our mum died.

[youngmafbog]

My father refused to have a funeral. That caused upset too within the family.

It was strange but those were his wishes so I respected him and had a moments thought and reflection on my own at the time of the cremation.

[allenlondon]

For some, who need the ending of a funeral, I'd recommend the Co-op.

60-ish years ago I remember my mum being subtly harassed by a commercial undertaker (in Romford), pointing out the special oak coffins, the lining, the carving, (but never a mention of the price). She of course found it hard to say Beggar Off.

Then years later my bosses body was flown back from Spain where he'd died of a heart attack (thousands the flight cost), and then when I saw his coffin pre-cremation is was another five grand's worth - oak again, intricately carved, lined, etc. - and it was about to go into the furnace (or not, as you always suspect the beggars of making off with it for future use).

My mum was finally laid to rest in the 1990s. She had a chipboard job from the Co-op. And no-one raised an eyebrow, no-one said "Tut tut, wouldn't an oak coffin by more suitable." I know what my mum would have said. The money saved was given away, as she would have done.

A

[SparklyKid]

https://www.simplicitacremations.co.uk/


This will do for us.

[woofgang]

The local family undertakers I used for DH were very clear about coffins suitable for cremation and they were the budget jobs. The people who dealt with the funerals of my inlaws (different part of the country) were the same.

[-SharonA-]

Me & hubby are having a direct cremation. The best way!

[Mamyalynne]

For a quiet life for all that remain,if your friend is content that the order of service is changed just let it go.

[iluvmargie]

I've never heard of direct cremation, I may look into that.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Bobbi I agree with Mamylynne, its half an hour out of your life and if your friend is ok about it its really not worth making a fuss about.

[naomi24]

^I agree.

I don't want a funeral either - but some people are horrified by that idea so I expect I'll get what other people want anyway. It doesn't really matter. I won't be there.

[teacake44]

Friend or not, never a good idea to get involved in other families business. Why you may ask? you always always end up being the baddy.

[iluvmargie]

I'd let the sister have her own way too Bobbi. I'm sure your friend is very grateful for all you have done for her and no-one can take that away x

[barry1010]

iluvmargie, I'm all for direct cremations but a lot of people still don't like them and consider them to be nothing more than waste disposal. It's good to have the choice - and there is so much choice these days.

Those who want a more traditional funeral don't have to employ a funeral director, you can DIY. Buy a coffin (cardboard if you like)or make your own, book the crem or buy the grave and arrange the transport. I have seen a coffin transported on a motorbike and sidecar combo. If you own the property you can (usually) bury them in the back garden.

Some councils will let you do away with the coffin and use a shroud. I think that is unfair to the employees who have to get the body into the crematoria or the grave.

I'm having a direct to crem disposal and my family will do it. Book the first slot of the day as this is the cheapest and the cardboard coffin is already in the loft.

[Peter Pedant]

I got chucked out of a funeral once
too jolly
none of the Roman shot of giving thx for a life well lived ....
and remember kayler's five stages of grief
each mourner at a difft stage

twas ever thus

[CrapAtCryptics]

Because they are all eyeing up the competition to share the inheritance.....