Stalking ?

[hammerman]

Friend...female, 45 years old and single has been receiving lots of unwanted attention from a male "friend"

At the moments...well for the past 9 months, it's txts and voice mails. But she's sick of it...he's married and she's told him she's not interested but he bombards her with hundreds of txts every week and keeps leaving messages on her phone.

Any grounds for the police to get involved yet ?

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

Personally I'd show his wife.

[emmie]

yes get the police involved, this isn't healthy or right, because from this type of behaviour, it could go on to be far worse if she doesn't get it nipped in the bud.

[Tilly2]

I think I'd be inclined to call his wife first.

[wolf63]

I am not sure about the legalities but this would freak me out. The guy may be harmless and never do her any harm but this type of behaviour, over such a long length of time, is not the sign of a healthy mind.

Maybe she could try CAB or just talk it over with the police.

[Purple_Popple]

9 months ?? Just tell her to change her number...its not rocket science. On most mobiles you can even block certain callers in your contacts list.

[vodkancoke]

If she has done nothing to warrant this attention tell her to show them to his wife and then change her number.

I don't know when the police would need to be involved. I think if she feared for her life then she should contact them.

[Barmaid]

Just tell her to tell him to back off. Something along the lines of "I find your constant texting/calling an unwarranted intrusion. Please stop now. if you don't I will involve the police". 9/10 it is enough to make them back off.

[chi-chi66]

Why has'nt she changed her phone no? Okay, it's a hassle letting everyone know you're new number, but easier than putting up with that for 9 months.
It's not rocket science, and if she knows the wife..show her.
Sorry to be abrupt but it should have been done months ago, why let it carry on.

[emmie]

stalkers don't care about changing numbers, they find out information on the person quite easily. I read about two people recently, one was Diarmud Gavin, the TV gardener, who was stalked for a long time, which he said was horrible. the other was an author, and it was a so called woman fan, who stalked him for years, turning up at book signings, and
any place where he would be.

[Smowball]

I would go round the house and show his wife.

[RATTER15]

I would just "threaten" to show his wife first, if you actually show his wife he may get violent. I think possibly the Police is a little OTT at this point, however the Police would put a stop to it promptly.

[rowanwitch]

Bit unfair on the wife... I'd tell him you were going to tell her, but also bar his calls if I could, but maybe a letter from a solicitor saying stop might work even if what he is doing isn't illegal if it is non threatening of course.

[Smowball]

good idea rowan

[rowanwitch]

Problem is after this amount of time it is probably a compulsion that may need intervention from a psychiatrist or something... and he may not have the insight to accept its a problem

[anneasquith]

change her phone number .

[joko]

how is it unfair on the wife?

not nice, sure...but id have thought, in the long run, you were doing her a favour!

cruel to be kind i suppose...

fact is, he wants to cheat and is obsessed with making it happen - he is also possibly a bit nuts

either way she should know - to either leave him or help him get help, if indeed he is having a breakdown or somehting

this is not normal infatuation...he may be doing this to other girls ... and he may just turn his attention to others.

[joko]

i would inform the police - just to be sure they are aware and assess the risk

he may even have a history of this...or of violence etc

so she may be in danger

[atalanta]

Tell his phone company, and then tell his boss.

[joko]

what are the phone company going to do?!

[EDDIE51]

The police WILL NOT want to get involved so don't bother with them.
Do you know his wife's no ? I would forward them to her if you do.
As others have said why has she not blocked the calls , virtually all phones have the facility to block numbers. I would have got a new phone number long before now if it had been me, no need to change the phone just get a new sim card.