Mother-in-Law in Intensive Care and I can't take time off work

[muchlovex]

I only work part time and I've already taken holidays, but under short notice for fertility treatment and because my MIL has been in hospital recently. She has now been admitted to hospital with pneumonia again but this time she is in intensive care.

My fertility treatment due not work so I will have to undergo further treatment, so will have to take more time off work, which i already feel bad about.

We live 400 miles away so my partner has flown back up home.

I don'tthink i should take anymore time off due to me not having any more holiday and becuase my work with think i am really unreliable.

I can't take compassionate leave as she is not a blood relative.

I just feel terrible I am not there to say my goodbyes to her...Should I be there and not worry about work?

[SeaJayPea]

Well pneumonia doesn't mean you'll definitely be needing to say your goodbyes even if she is in intensive care. Could you fly up for the day at the weekend, perhaps? Or the next time you have a day off in the week?

Hope all works out for you.

[rowanwitch]

I'd just keep in touch by phone now and see how things go... I would also talk to your employer and ask if it would be possible to go onto flexible working for a while so you could build up time to compensate for short tern hospital visits.

If MIL deteriorates further talk to your boss as some HR policies include In laws as close family

[woofgang]

when my beloved Mil was dying, one of us had to stay and look after the dogs. I know this sound silly and unfeeling but Mil would never have forgiven us if we had kennelled them. She knew that I loved her and was thinking of her and my DH went to her bedside and then to the funeral. We did the same when it was my Mum, he stayed with the dogs and i went. Same thing, Mum would have been livid if we had kennelled them. I am sure that your Mil would prefer you to use your time off work to TTC and knows that you love her.

[muchlovex]

Hi woofgang. Thats another reason I am not sure of going up to visit. WE have an 18 year old dog and she's already nervous because she can't hear and walk properly. My MIL is exactly the same re dogs, she would hate the thought of me putting my dog in kennel.

If she does pass away, (she is suffering from a long nervous system illness similar to Parkinsons), Iwill definately be there for the funneral though. I do feel like I should be there,but like the others day, I shnould wait to hear.

[joko]

you cannot help her so cant you just go for the weekend?
how much time are you expecting to take off?
if you are just going to say goodbye, go friday night and comeback late sunday night or early monday morning. that gives you plenty of time...