Witty Reply Sought

[JuniperEccles]

Does anyone have any witty/caustic replies for me to give to people who ring me up at the crack of dawn (that's 9 a.m. to me) and then say "Did I wake you?"

[Old_Geezer]

Not that's printable here ;-)

[Redhelen72]

No, I always look like I have been dragged out of bed by Hugh Jackman!

[lankeela]

No I was already up writing my hitlist of people who wake me up early.

[theshedman]

I used to say, no it's ok I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

[Ellipsis]

Yes, but it's OK, I'm sure it's something important ...

[Redhelen72]

However, 9am is not early so if its professional calls they are not likely to know that you are a late riser.

[Rosie29]

If it's your landlines can you turn the ringer off or put a cushion over it.
If it's your mobile set it to Mute.

[Rosie29]

Sorry - just noticed you wanted a witty reply. Fresh out of those today :-)

[ZebuSanctuary]

// "Did I wake you?" //

Try this; "My butler would normally take this call, but he's busy painting my toe nails."

[gingejbee]

"Sorry but Chris Witty isn't available to reply right now...will I do?"

[JimF]

"Of course not! I was expecting your call anyway. How's your herpes these day?"

[elliemay1]

No, I usually answer the phone when I'm sleeping

[Hazlinny]

In a rather silly moment, I once answered saying "this is ???????hospital mortuary, sorry no-one can take your call".

[JuniperEccles]

9 a.m. might not be early to you, Redhelen72, but that's like the middle of the night to me!!! I obviously don't mind professional calls but my friends ought to know better by now.

[Barsel]

Just say no and then make some loud snoring noises.

[DanFlo]

No, I'm talking in my sleep again.

[Meaghan27]

I work some night shifts so at 10 am I might be in my pyjamas getting ready for bed. If I answer the door, I get some derogatory looks as if I'm a lazy so and so, when in reality I've just come off a 12-hour shift!
Caustic witty replies welcome!

[Peter Pedant]

very early for a one liner.

Voltaire / Descartes spent all morning in bed thinking up one liners to say later on. 1720- 1620

zee Fransh even have a phrase for something you really should have said earlier ( esprit d'escalier) - you fink abart it on the stairs on the way out

[Peter Pedant]

My dog had better take this call - at least he is awake

[Peter Pedant]

If it's your landlines can you turn the ringer off
bad sight day
I thought well ya better tell the folks in Ukraine - lives will be saved!
o god landlines, sozza