My Sprouts Aren't Going To Be Ready :-(

[EcclesCake]

I put them on at the end of September and thought they'd be ready in time, what am I going to do?

[Mamyalynne]

Eccles,I feel your pain that happened to me one year - months and they were still firm to the knife. I ended up grating them and hiding them under the gravy.

[douglas9401]

If you get them up to a vigourous boil right now they should be edible for just after HM's address to the Commonwealth. Lid on tight mind, you don't want all the goodness going missing.

[humbersloop]

I saw tinned sprouts for the first time this morning, stared for a bit and walked on.

[tonyav]

Sod the sprouts, I'm going up the chippy in a while. Is that acceptable on a Christmas eve.

[Mamyalynne]

This is by far the best (well the only) review of tinned sprouts I have ever read.

//I thought that I'd try these Brussels Sprouts last year and include them in my Christmas dinner. Initially I was pleasantly surprised by the taste and swiftly went back for a second helping of these delicious green orbs. This wasn't a problem because there was plenty left over as I was eating alone. After my lovely meal I sat down to digest and watch the Queen's speech. This is when I noticed that my stomach was making some ungodly noises which just got louder and louder. Then it happened. The first baptism of Hells wind had escaped my brand new Farahs. As the flatulence became increasingly forceful it occurred to me that the air in my studio flat had a slightly green hue and my Baileys had curdled. It was also at this stage that my cat - Keith had turned and looked at me in disgust and went to sit outside in the snow as he had nowhere else to go. I thought "enough was enough" and went to make a phone call to the NHS helpline. As I did I noticed the scorch marks that my backside had produced in my recliner chair.

It has taken me nearly a year to rebuild the relationship I have with Keith. They'll be no Sprouts on my plate this Christmas.//

[Littlegem]

EcclesCake: You have to put them on at the beginning of June at a really high heat and that will do the trick!!

[tonyav]

LOL ^^^^^^

[tonyav]

@ Mamya.

[Mamyalynne]

I laughed too,comical.

[EcclesCake]

Thank you to Ummmm and Mamya for further unsettling my stomach :-(

[Mamyalynne]

No probs.

[tonyav]

Poor Keith, ought the RSPCA be involved.

[Mamyalynne]

I can picture his little face.

[Mamyalynne]

Tracked him down - bless!!

http://tinyurl.com/najrzt8

[DTCwordfan]

Here we are: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/37/75537222_342607856b.jpg?v=0

For those of you with this reptile, take care: http://metro.co.uk/2006/12/27/brussels-sprouts-cause-turtle-fart-alarm-3433537/

And be warned

There just isn't enough febreeze
to rid the room of the haze
Of a Mother-in-Law's fart, strong and silent
It kind of puts you in a daze

It kind of sneaks in, then it hits you
An olfactory h-bomb in your face
Meanwhile, she just sits there
She's wiped the room with anal mace

There is no middle ground here
They always smell like something died
Like she caught a knickersful in the bathroom
Now, it's rotting her insides

Mother-in-Law's farts, are a weapon
That our army has not used
In fact I told them in a letter
In their reply, they were amused

"We've tried to duplicate it"
"A killer weapon... stops the heart"
"But, our scientists just aren't able"
"To reproduce a strong old woman's fart"

"Thank you for your consideration"
"We'll let you know, if we succeed"
"We agree with your kind letter"
"Millies' farts escape and then they breed"

Sometimes when a Millie farts
It makes a noise, she turns around
"My god, I smell incredible"
and then there's the look from her basset hound

So, if you've never smelled a Mother-in-Law's fart
And your Millie just sneaks one out
Do yourself a favour
Do not feed her brussel sprouts.

Happy Christmas.

[tonyav]

So can I, Mamya !.
http://www.funnyjunk.com/Disgusted+cat/funny-pictures/4973423

[jourdain2]

About an hour in the microwave on full power should just about do it!

[aelmpvw]

nothing nicer than felt sprouts in my opinion

[Mamyalynne]

Depends who's feeling em.

[berniecuddles]

http://i1329.photobucket.com/albums/w550/berniecuddles/images_zps9ef55e19.jpg