kindness

[jennyjoan]

Are you better off in this life being a *** rather than being a kind person to all and sundry - cos you I am going to be a b%stard for now.

Do anybody remember you for the being a you know what badly or goodly.

I given up the plo9t.

[BlackadderV]

Definitely a ***, and it's a damn sight cheaper too.

[Mamyalynne]

You sound very disillusioned Conne,I know you have problems with your brother being so ill.


I don't think you can change your nature.

[anneasquith]

someone upset you conn ?

[jennyjoan]

THE BROTHER

[jennyjoan]

I am trying to be the CHRISTIAN SISTER as mother would have liked it - but it sure is hard.

[anneasquith]

again ? try not to fret too much, you can only do what he will allow you to do. I'm sure you tried, that's the main thing.

[jennyjoan]

Am just wondering to myself - would I get this compassion that he gets - he needs to be kicked to the kerb as the American would say. No gratification - all demands demands demands -


I bought him a microwave about 6 months ago - it is now broken (any wonder) - is asking me for a receipt - place has gone to death -= sons and partners can no longer cope - so partners have moved out - God I don't blame them.

[wolf63]

My mum used to say that you should love your siblings/parents or children but you don't have to like them.

If your brother is as difficult as this all the time I would take a step back from him. Help him if you 'want' to but not because you feel that you should.

I am an atheist sister and love my brother very much but sometimes I could shoot him .........

[jennyjoan]

Wolfie _ I have heard that many times - you should love them but you don't need to like them - can anybody tell me how do you differentiate that.

I call it "ALIENATION" - but he is too ill at the moment - so I wanted to argue a point tonight - but can I - cos next thing he could collapse and die.

No Siree - I have put up with it for nigh on 70 years - don't want that on my conscience now. ~thank you very much

[Mamyalynne]

Hard though it is you need to have a stoical approach, suggest solutions to him - if he refuses them, say ok, that's all I can do.


He is not going to change his ways after all these years and the illness will have added fear into the equation.

[BlackadderV]

Your posts suggest that your brother is suffering from dementia, in which case professional help is required a.s.a.p.

[jennyjoan]

Mamy - as much as I appreciate what you and others are thinking - there is far far far so much on the horizon.

I will try to give you an example

Son (he was expecting to make him a dinner) this son is out with partner

We (girlfriend and me offered to make him a dinner ) in the house with the pavlova.

"NO NO No - son is making me dinner

Other son who was in the house when we arrived (doesn't live there)

Other son has contacted SAID son - "oh girlfriend and aunt are there to make him dinner - so son (who is to make him dinner doesn't turn up"

So me and girlfriend leaves - we don't know brother is now lying in bed starving - what the funk can you do.

Personally he has brought it on himself. But do you leave him starving to death.

He is now bedbound. God damn if you do and damn if you don't

It is too difficult to put everything on ink/

Little does he know Social Worker is visiting him on Monday - HE WILL EXPLO9DE -

[jennyjoan]

Hate to disillusion you - no dementia right now.

Absolutely not -

[jennyjoan]

wish it was dementia - then you could deal with it.

He is fairly compos mentis - unbelievable

[jennyjoan]

To be honest with you - I think i have dementia with all this ***. LO)L

[Mamyalynne]

I don't imagine I can comprehend what you are experiencing for one minute,in the situation above I may have made a simple meal and offered it on a tray - not sure what else I would do.

I am glad you are getting someone to come and see him.

[jennyjoan]

I am not getting anybody Mamy - it is his son and woe betide his Son in his eyes.

[DTCwordfan]

If I was in your shoes, I would brief the social worker up - sounds like you need some help here to get on top of this, as a family.....your frustration is fully understandable. Mamya is right that there may be an underlying fear factor here.....

[Peter Pedant]

Hope today is better

and you have a better week end

[roopower]

I know I'm poking my nose in here, but you sound desperately unhappy l don't know the back story, has your brother always been cantankerous? My grandad was very meek but got unbearably bad tempered ( but no dementia) as he got older which came to a head when he threatened me with a knife. He was taken into care and it was discovered he had postate cancer and severe kidney infection, both apparently can cause changes of personality. Is it possible he is ill?