Do I have the right to have an opinion?

[milly143]

Does someone with no children have a right to comment, give advice or make suggestions about raising a child to a parent?

[milly143]

I don't think I got as far as giving any advice Red but if I had been allowed to continue speaking I expect I would have just relayed the experience my brother had - who took MY adivce upon telling me of the problem. I had told him that our sister had the same problem with her daughter and after several different punishments, i.e. cancelling a friends dinner invite, etc. When the stealing continued, she stripped out her daughters bedroom of everything except bed and clothes and it didn't get returned until her behaviour improved. Now, that's not what I am saying any parent in that situation should do but I don't see why I can't share that experience with someone.

[redcrx]

i dont see why they couldnt accept your opinion as is was, an opinion and an answe that worked for your brother and sister.
Thanks for telling me though. Im not sure where i would put everything if i emptied his room but we are doing similar at moment. Its not working as fast as i hoped but things are changing :)
How did your parents stop you doing it? :)

[milly143]

Yes, the downside to that was my sisters bedroom was like a dumping ground for a few weeks until it all got put back.

I was just thinking about what my parents did and I can't remember. I remember pinching crisps all the time but I don't remember ever getting caught. Must have been good at it. I do remember when my brother was younger and got caught stealing sweets from a shop. My Dad marched him down the local police station and got someone to give him a good ear bashing. I just wish I could have seen it, apparently he was scared witless.

[JonnyBoy12]

Milly, I did not mean you in this particular question; I meant questions in general about parenting. Sometimes in questions of this nature, some people say that they are not a parent, so feel free to ignore anything they say. In the case of you, Milly, you did not mea that at all, as you say that would be very ironic.

[redcrx]

i bet it did. Little CRX does all of this at night whilst we are asleep. he is so so quiet. The nights when Mr CRX sleeps on sofa he doesnt do it, but we cant carry on like that lol.

[yinyang]

It depends on the nature of the problem and whether or not the person knows my children.

My sister has no children but knows my 2 very well so I would respect her opinion, even on personal matters. On the flip side - after my dad died somebody I hadn't spoke to for over a decade and who had never met my children tried to advise me on the best way to help them handle their grief. Even though she is a ( bad ) parent herself I felt because she know nothing about my children she had no right to offer me advice in that situation.

[milly143]

Oh sorry Jonny - I see what you meant now.

Snealy little so and so's aren't they Red. My brother was telling me he caught Max red handed and gave him what for then went out to the van to get something and could hear a noise when he came back in the house. He snuck back into the kitchen to find Max trying to pinch more sweets again only a couple of minutes after the first instance. Pretty glad I wasn't in the house, or town that morning.

[anneasquith]

abolutely no, milly, not until you have had............" the big labour ", the piles. the sore breasts, the sleepless night, no wine, no curry , no waist ?. varicous veins, droopy breasts , struggled with being a yummy mummy ............................lol

[milly143]

I can see your point there Yinyang. I suppose you might not want someone who has never met your children advising what is best for them. Although on the other hand, lots of people come on here asking for advice about situations from people who have never me their children. Although I suppose that's invited advice, not just jumping in and throwing your opnion out there.

[ladybirder]

Definitely not if it's your daughter-in-law!

[cazzz1975]

I think it depends personally, before I had kids I thought I was pretty clued up when in fact I knew diddily squat, I would not be rude to you if you tried to offer your opinion though, all feedback is good, it can certainly make you think differently when you look at things from various angles.

[Sqad]

milly my love.......you have the right to an opinion..........and they have the right to ignore it.

No different from AB or indeed the world as a whole.

[doomey!]

Depends how you give the advice.
Most parents myself included would not take kindly to someone without a child of their own, or even if they had a child, giving them advice on how to raise their child.

I mean its our adventure, its up to us to make our mistake and learn from them, who are you to point out our fallacies?

[Prudie]

In direct answer to the wording of your question then lots of pople without children have a right to comment, especially if they are trained in the field - midwives, doctors, teachers, child psychologists, speech therapists to name just a few.

[Mamyalynne]

Health visitors without children used to irk me, but of course I was 21 and a Mum, so knew everything LOL

[4getmenot]

i often give my opinion and advice and when i was talking to my blokes mate about the birth of his son my man said 'you know more than some mums!' i guess being on here and living next door to sis when she was preggers helped

[Invictas]

Well, in that case as a retired Trading Standards Officer maybe I do have a right to tell parents about their children?
Such as in:~
"Ooh that's a really ugly baby,go and ask for your money back!" LOL

[wiggal]

I dont have children, but my fiancee has 2 children, and he will always listen to my input on what I have to say and very often takes up and acts on suggestions I have made (i.e kids spend forever in the morning getting ready as distracted by the TV, I said TV doesnt go on till they are both dressed and ready and waiting for us) and that is now always the case.

[karenmac60]

Absolutely - as long as you don't criticise my parenting skills ;)

[ummmm]

Parents get very defensive of their children.