adoptees

[tamborine]

My 60+ London days included some of these mums. Single/married women couldn't get mortgages, unmarried mums were treated with disdain. No Gov financial assistance & the Pill wasn't easily available.

This story would be heart-breaking for them.

http://www.dailymail....l-try-track-down.html

[MikeLitoris]

The important line in that article for me and the one I agree with wholeheartedly is "But the people who brought me up are my mum and dad."

That is a very true statement, to him (and to me for that matter) the biological parents are total strangers, it's the people that loved and looked after you from (6 months in my case) that are the parents.

[MikeLitoris]

And how the hell am I logged in as Mike!!!

Chuck!

[craft1948]

Mike you're back....funny you look just like ...ahem.

[ChuckFickens]

Sorry, not sure how that happened.

[tamborine]

I dont deny the importance of the rearing parents....just wanted to point out how difficult it was for lone mothers at that time. Their were fathers too who couldn't support those babes. They would be further pained by the re-buff.

[mr-rubix]

Number 8 in the Site Rules.
Do not abuse the AnswerBank’s registration procedures and attempt to acquire multiple usernames.

So we ARE allowed multiple names? Or only "Established members" and then a blind eye is turned?

[ChuckFickens]

I'm not disagreeing with you Tambo, it must have been hard, and that's precisely the reason I was put up for adoption too (the general stigma attached to unmarried mothers back then)

but that article (and my own experience) is from the adoptee position so I can totally relate to what he is saying.

(and yes, before anyone else says it, that does officially make me a Little Bustard)

[ChuckFickens]

You are allowed to have backup names rubix, that has always been the case and everyone knows my backup name is mike. now go and play elsewhere and stop trying to cause trouble.

[mr-rubix]

No chuck not causing trouble at all I just wanted some clarity on the subject as heard that other users were banned because of multiple usernames. Thats all didn't mean to upset you.

[cazzz1975]

the Ed said after the yogi/kojak saga that users could have a multiple user name as long as they are nice..

[mr-rubix]

Thank you as well cazzz. Why do some users get their backup when other users they're not accustomed to ask a question? Weird. Must be a clique thing.

[ChuckFickens]

So, while on the subject of usernames then.... mine are

chuck
Mikelitoris (my backup)
and my very first one (which was a crap name so I changed to chuck after about 2 months) markysngc...

What have all yours been?

[craft1948]

Chuck how long have you got............

[ChuckFickens]

as it happens I'm off out in a min, but I can check back later :)

[mr-rubix]

mr-rubix as you can see. Had I had other names then why would I ask as I would already know the answer surely?

[askyourgran]

I agree Mike with that sentiment its very true. But there are women out ther who had children in the late 1950's who were shamed into giving their illigitimate children away but still loved them dearly. One of my girl friends at that time (aged 15) did just that She had a daughter and it was impossible for her to keep her. For forty years she wondered how her daughter was, until the daughter eventually tracked her down. Of course my friend realised where her daughter's loyalties lay, but she was so happy and grateful for the chance to meet her and talk to her at last.

[tamborine]

I was in the YWCA & when my room mate, Judy got pregs she was kicked out. I left with her & we shared a flat in Westminster; the babe she adored was left in hospital for adoption (no babes allowed in rentals). Judy became anorexic & v.ill - I've lost touch now and cant find her on usual tracing sites......the adoption almost killed her.

[cazzz1975]

impressive that you can talk about cliques and such when you have only been a member for 5 days

[ChuckFickens]

I know it must be hard for the biological parents AYG and I'm glad times have changed now so it is not so frowned upon and people are much less likely to be "forced" to give up their children (and I appreciate it must be hard for the parents to have done so)

But, from my point of view, I was raised by a loving family, I have no memories of anything but that family so in my mind my real parents are total strangers.

don't get me wrong, there is of course a curiosity there about what I might have been or how I might have ended up had things been different, but I doubt I could have had it a lot better than I did so I am happy to stay as I am. (incidentally, my adoptive parents have always been very open with me about it and always told me from a young age that they would support me and help me if I ever did want to find my real parents)

[mr-rubix]

Wow a reincarnation of Sherlock Holmes?I've already made my explanation. If you're that interested in my past as you have shown by clicking on my avatar space then I suggest that you go back and delve into my past answers where an explanation awaits you and the others that are interested.