How do you cope when your mum is dying from lung cancer and you dont know the prognosis???

[taximan69]

My mum has been diagnosed with lung cancer but no-one is telling me the full prognosis. How do I cope and what should I do??

[Postdog]

Well, not to appear too harsh, but you know what the outcome will be and that will be inevitable, so you just have to accept that it is going to happen. That said, it doesn't make it easy, and particularly towards the end it is harder - you don't want them to die but seeing the suffering is painful on you as well as them, and there are times you don't so much wish them dead, but wish it would end. Dunno if I explained that very well but I have been through it with both parents, and tho sad when they went, with what they were going through it was like a weight had been lifted.

On the practical side, just make sure you know who to contact when the time comes, and, if appropriate, make sure a will exists.

Good luck - it will be hard on you but you'll cope better than you think.

[masma]

I've been through it with my dear mum - just be there for her and take one day at a time.

[masma]

Should have said... give her lots of love, it'll help you both.
If you really want to know the in and outs, make an appointment to see her doctor or specialist, they're very good and will put your mind at rest. My thoughts and prayers go out to you both.

[Rosetta]

Ohlordy, its tough having to be the strong one. THat is possibly the role you have to assume though.
your mum will need huge levels of support because she will be really frightened, whatever the prognosis.Does she have a faith, it might be important to her
Be strong and look after yourself as well
ON another point it might be that there is nothing to worry about

[ummmm]

Sorry to be a cynic. You don't cope. Just remind yourself that it's living grief and pure love xxxx

My Dad died in Feb. I'lll never get over him.

[daffy654]

Have you talked to your mum about it? She may need someone to plan with her what is going to happen at the end.If she knows her wishes for her end stage and funeral are all in hand it will ease her worries a lot. There are people who specialise in helping you come to terms with a terminal diagnosis of a loved one,your GP should have all the info,make an appointment.xxx

[Mamyalynne]

Just lost my beloved husband four weeks ago, and we were very honest and open about everything. He made his wishes clear and I honoured each one with love in my heart.. I sit here though feeling for you, as it is very hard for us left behind. After 34 years I feel a part of me has been torn away. I know I will recover alitttle so give yourself time and talk, talk, to all who will listen.
Take care
Love Mamya xxx

[EngTeach]

Taxi- You just get through each day and love her. I would follow the practical advice given such as see her doctor and an attorney. My mother passed just a year ago and the paperwork is still going on and we had things in order.

Just spend time with her and be there emotionally for her and take care of yourself. You will be of no use if you are a mess. If you are her primary care taker ask friends to help by sitting with her so you can have a bit of a break. It is quite wearing on your spirit if you don't take care of yourself.

Talk to others about your mother and your feelings. Cry, yell and laugh when you feel like it. You must build a support system for yourself. A lot of people on here were wonderful to me through it all. My thoughts are with you.