Hi everyone,
We have recently given a home to a little pup but are having real trouble with our six year old.
He clearly has a fear of dogs and I just don't know what to do to try and reassure him that this pup is not going to hurt him.
The dog is a dachshund X irish terrier and so will always be a small dog, he is a very laid back pup and is far too lazy to be going to the effort of chasing and biting kids!
I am trying my best to keep things as calm as possible but this is proving to be harder than I thought.
My son won't sit on the sofa with his feet down as he thinks he is going to bite him, he won't go into the kitchen unless I pick the dog up first and he won't play with the dog unless he's sat somwhere (like the sofa) where the dog can't get to.He will happily stroke the dog, just so long as I am holding him.
I would like some advice as to what I should or shouldn't be doing really.
Should I be encouraging my son to play with the dog and telling him to not to sit with his feet up or should I just let him carry on like this and hope he will get better.
Thanks! : )
pinkilady Sat 05/07/08 11:06
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I think your son may have been initially scared of the pup but now it sounds as if he's discovered that making a fuss is a good way to get your attention!
Could you give your son a responsibility like grooming the dog daily or feeding the dog once each day after school? This would help him to form a bond with pup & enable you to give your son positive attention for being actively involved with pup rather than negative or positive attention for trying to avoid it. Ignoring all the ridiculus behaviour is quite safe because you know that his fears are groundless. I know you want to be supportive for him but sometimes we have to be left to learn for ourselves how to face a fear. If you don't when will he learn not to be scared of trying new things? He'll soon get sick of not leaving the sofa especially if you engineer him being left behind while something more interesting is happening elsewhere. I think that necessity will conquer his fears in time. Let him ignore the dog, it's ok, as long as he's not cruel to it, he doesn't have to have the same relationship with it as you do.
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I won't be in any room alone with a dog. I have a real terror of them that I haven't been able to conquer.
I was badly bitten by a pair of Yorkshire Terriers when I was small. :(
Even reading your post has turned my stomach.
Hope your little boy gets over it.
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Hows about getting a squeeky ball and letting your son throw it for the dog...im sure that whilst he and the dog are having fun it will distract his mind from the fear...good luck!
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That's a good idea Unhappy chick, I was about to suggest a toy or ball myself.
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If he is stroking the dog and playing with it on the sofa then I would let this continue for a while, and as said above, let your son have some responsibility for the dog, but don't force the issue. Don't let the boy think he is being naughty or silly to be scared of the dog. He needs to learn himself that the dog won't hurt him. Get him to do thinks like read about dogs and draw pictures, suggest he takes a picture of the dog and maybe keeps a sort of diary of how the pup grows and maybe you could help him weigh the dog and measure it. If possible try to get him to walk the dog on the lead and help with his training. I think putting pressure on your son will only make him more worried. Have somewhere secure like a cage or puppy pen so the puppy can have somewhere to go to sleep/eat/play so your son has some time where he can feel safe to move around and play without the dog coming near him. I am sure in a short while they will be best friends and grow up together. If you put this question in Animal and Pets you will get lots of advice from other dog owners and also lots of support.
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I don't have a fear of dogs but I do cats. With me it is a phobia. When I was about your son's age, my mother bought a small kitten but the sweat used to roll off me at night for fear of it jumping on my bed. My mother had to get rid of it in the end. Even now I still have a very bad phobia of cats. Hope your son can get over it though I could never.
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We had the same problem with our daughter, when she was about the same age as your son, she did all the things your son is doing, in the end she gradually, started running from chair to chair, then just got used to the idea, give him time, I'm sure he will be fine, my daughter loved the dog in the end.
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time thats all your son needs.
in time he will realise the dog is not going to bite him.
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Question Author
Thanks to you all for your great advice.
I decided to put the dog in it's cage (that sounds so awful!) this evening for a bit whilst we had dinner and it really helped. My son was much much happier and managed to eat his dinner without worrying if the dog was gonna run in at any moment!
We have decided to give him some responsibilty with the dog and so as of tomorrow he will be helping me when it comes to feeding and also coming with me when I do the regular walks.
He seemed alot happier when he went to bed this evening and even said he was looking forward to seeing the dog in the morning!
Thanks to you all again, it's been really helpful.
x
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it dosen't sound awful at all to put a dog in a crate/cage. Many dogs are crate trained, and in fact ours will prefer to be in his than other places. It is "his" place and thats where he feel secure and comfy
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Ask yourself a question, who is more important, your son or the dog? Get rid of the dog without delay. JD
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how long have you had the dog. I was exactly the same when my family got a dog, I was 7 years old and would not get down off the sofa while my siblings played with him. After a while I was ok it just took time to see he wouldnt hurt me. I was fine with him after that although I have a phobia of other dogs still.
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Question Author
Thanks,
The ctare his proved to be a great thing over the weekend. The dog now seems to prefer sitting in there but I leave the door open so he is free to come out when he wants.
The only time I really shut it is when my son wants to sit and eat his dinner as the cage is close to the kitchen.
With regards to jd_here's answer, I don't think it is fair to just say get rid of the dog!
Obviously my son is far far more important but surely it is not humane or fair just to re-home a dog becasue we are having teething problems?!
everyone else has responded to my question with good advice and all of them have also said that given time my son will learn to love the dog and be at ease with it.
I can assure you that 'getting rid' is not an option! Yes my son has a fear of the dog but surely it is better to help him with this now rather than just let it continue.
Also, by getting rid of the dog (as you put it) it would just show my son that he can scream and throw tantrums and get evrything his way... surely that is not a good way to bring up a child??!
I'm sorry but your response is just stupid and not helpful at all.
If we were talking about a great big nasty dog then fair enough but were not, were talking about a small little dog who just wants to be playful.
It would be the easy option to just get rid but I am looking for PRACTICAL advice on how to introduce my son to the dog and this will obviously take time and effort... time and effort that I am more than happy to give!
Thanks to everyone else though, things have improved over the weekend and we even managed to get him to hold the dog and stroke him which he was quite chuffed with!!
x
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I'm here as the voice of doom.
There is an article in today's Daily Mail (p.30) which gives a list of the top ten aggressive dogs which are most likely to bite.
In no. 1 position as the thug of the canine world is the dachshund.
Please be careful with the dog around your son.
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I presume JD has very spoilt children who get everything they ask for!
You are doing very well pinkilady. Hopefully, your son will grow to love and accept the dog and this will help him in the future as well. It is such a shame when children show a dreadful fear of animals and their parents don't try to help them overcome it or even cross over to the other side of the road when someone approaches with a dog.
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I think you're taking it slowly and doing all the right things pinkilady. Children can develop fears of all kinds of animals, but I think you have to tell your son that the pup COULD bite, if he teased it, or pulled its tail, for example. Puppies can be playful, and occasionally nip without realising they're harming anyone.
We have 4 Staffies and a German Shepherd - all as soft as brushes. They actually allowed our children, when they were younger, to take things from their mouths (and even allowed them to try and have rides on their backs!!!), but I'd never let the boys roll round on the floor with them, and even now, I keep an eye out. Luckily they'd all rather lick you to death than bite. If a dog's well trained and loved, it'll usually respond well to both adults and children. Good luck with your son's fears. I'm sure he'll overcome them. x
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but Icey you could tell me they are well trained and soft as anything till you are blue in the face and I wouldnt go near them
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Lol - that's a fair comment 4get. The trouble is, these particular breeds've been given bad press, along with rottweilers and dobermans. I dispute that these animals are all tarred with the same brush, but many folk buy them as guard dogs, or for "street cred", and they often aren't cared for and trained properly. Staffordshire Bull Terriers, for example, are very loving towards people, but not so good with other dogs. I was brought up with them, and trust that we've brought them up well, but as with any animal, you have to use common sense and judgement.
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maybe but I know there are certain dogs I will stay away from because of the stories about them. I just think after time pinkladies son will be ok
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I was badly bitten by an Alsation (German Shepherd nowadays!) when I was 8. It took a chunk out of my hip. My parents' reaction was - to get me a pup! I wasn't afraid of dogs before, so they didn't want me afraid of all dogs after.
It was the best thing they could have done and I've been a dog-lover ever since.
When I had my daughter, I was asked if I'd be getting rid of the dog (what an expression!). No reason for it. When I brought her home, I let the dog sniff her (tip from a nurse)on the doorstep, so he knew she belonged, before I went in. After that, he was her best friend.
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