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How to have the chat!

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Miss Chief | 22:39 Fri 24th Aug 2007 | Relationships & Dating
11 Answers
Been seeing a guy for about 4 wks, going well so far. At some point I want a chat with him about if we're 'exclusive' but I don't know how to raise the subject without appearing too heavy (sometimes in the past guys have freaked out when having this conversation) - he's been logging on to a website every day that people use to meet (and date) so I kind of want to clarify what's happening sooner rather than later - any ideas welcome!! Thanks
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It' so tempting to have the chat isn't it? But why rush, let things develop and maybe they'll become clear anyway. You may well end up coming on too strong and scaring him off. Maybe, rather than have the chat, suggest doing somthing that would imply that you are boyf and girlf, like invite him to a family do, wedding, weekend away etc?
Question Author
Thanks for your reply - I guess there is no reason to have the chat as such, it's just that, sorry for being graphic, but it's getting to the stage where we're thinking about sleeping with each other and with the last guy that I was seeing we slept together before having the chat - I then later found out that all he wanted was sex and it made me feel rubbish - I guess I'd rather know either way first!
Mmm. See your point and good for you for waiting. What do you feel his thoughts on the relationshIp are?
Question Author
Well, I think he quite likes me - have a great time when we're together, although he's been working away so we've only seen each other about half a dozen times in the few weeks we've been seeing each other. We are in touch most days and I do have good feelings about how he feels about me (if that makes sense) - just this website thing that is bothering me a bit I think. I guess you're right - I don't think he's the sort to totally mess me around so I should let things develop. Frustrating though how tempting it is to try to define our 'relationship'!
I can understand why you wouldn't like it that he goes on that website. Everyday is a bit much! But, if you've only seen him half a dozen times, its probably a bit too soon to have the "chat". I suggest you play it safe and don't sleep with him until you are more comfortable about where its going.
Thank you for your advice - it's good to know I'm not going round the twist and to see that my instincts are right that it's too soon!

Cheers
x
That'll be me answering my own question under my other username!
Good luck, hope he turns out to be good'un!

xx
Question Author
Thank you - me too!! x
im assuming that you have already been physical,i would ask him just after, play dirty.
I would hold off sleeping with him till you know the position. Not right him being on these websites every day (or at all) if he is with you. Be careful.

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