Advice please

[alison6399]

Hi

My grandmother died about 5 years ago. She had lots of family photographs in her house of my mum when she was a child that my mum was really wanted & by rights, she was entitled to. They held many fond memories & my mum is always talking about them today

However, after her death, my cousin took these photographs even though they meant nothing to her without even asking my mum

We tried to keep in touch with my mum's brother and his family, but about 4 years ago, he seemed to sever all ties for no reason. My elder sister used to EMail my cousin and my mum continually asked my sister to contact my cousin to ask for her photos back, but my sister never 'got round to it'

My mum asked my sister again the other day and I offered to contact my cousin, because I know that it would mean everything to my mum to get her photos back. I really want to help, but I wouldn't know what to say in an EMail to my cousin (my only contact details). I want to be polite (even though I am furious with her) & I my aim is not to get into the legal aspects of this matter. I just want to get my mum's photos back

Please could someone give me some advice on what to say? I would really appreciate it

[Infomaniac]

I would not even mention the legal aspects of this - it would immediately sound threatening and put your cousin's back up. A nice friendly email is what is needed with no hint of blame or accusation. Just say that your mother would dearly like to have the photographs of herself as a child as they would mean so much to her. Ask your cousin if s/he would be kind enough to send them on to you. You will, of course, offer to pay for post and packaging.

[cazzz1975]

just a simple email saying how your mum wants her pictures as a reminder of her grandmother and happy times, you could lay it on thick and say she is feeling low and would dearly love them.

[SueMoneyRowley]

Why not have them scanned and then you'd both have copies. Then you could geT the best printed off for your mum.

[annie0000]

I would echo the above comments, perhaps you could say that you'd like to get them copied so that both your mum and her brothers side of the family could enjoy the memories?

[Nini74]

the others are right. Don't make a big deal out of it - just drop her a line, ask how they all are etc, and then just say that your mother had been talking about the photographs the other day again, and you recalled that she had them and wondered whether you could borrow them to get copies made for your mum. don't be accusatory as you'll end up not getting the photos. I'm not really sure that there was anything vindictive in your cousin taking the photos - presumably there's some of her father as a child in amongst them.

[bednobs]

also, i wouldn't mention anything legal at all. Unless your gran willed them to your mum, the cousin is just as entitled as her to have them i suppose

[ummmm]

My aunt took all my Nan and Grandads photos. She's slowly putting them on FB and tagging us all in them. That means we have our own copies. Ask your cousin to do something like that.

[Nini74]

Ummmm, that's a good idea - my brother in law (who lives 400 miles away) quite often tags me on facebook in photos of people i've never met - but they're my husband's old family photos that he hasn't seen for years and he loves looking at them on there. It's not a possession of the photographs that counts, it's access to them. Have you spoken with your cousin yet?

[pinkgin]

Definitely keep it low key and non confrontational. Say that you are asking for your Mum's sake and you would be really grateful ffor their help.

[tinkerbell23]

Thats a shame, hope it all works out, id definately say something like at least a copy of the pics if she wants to keep the originals.....even say you are making a scrapbook for your mum or something!!? Could you have them to make copies of at all etc.....

Good luck xxx

[Matheous-2]

I would ask to borrow them in small batches which you could return after having them scanned. Thats the only way to gain trust with your family....