Emotional Wrench - Moving Home

[MASS1961]

In just over a week, my Mother is moving to a retirement apartment and I know the day is going to be so emotional.

She has lived in her house for 52 years from the day she got married in 1960 and alone for the past 36 years since my Father died. She's 76.

She is very active socially, Church, Keep Fit (twice weekly), Mothers Union Leader and still drives.

My Brother and I had realised she wasn't coping as well as she had previously, and suggested she may find life a little easier in a smaller place, we want her to be able to do everything she enjoys without the worry and anxiety of looking after a house that is far too big for her.

We (including Mum) have found a place quite close to where she is now, we've done everything so she didn't have to, and she says she is quite looking forward to moving although she is going to miss her home.

I would like us to do something "special" on the day, for a very special lady, to make it a bit easier but I need a bit of help coming up with some ideas.

ANY help would be so appreciated
Thank You

[DTCwordfan]

turn all the family 8mm and/or 16mm films into a DVD - there are companies that do this

[MASS1961]

Thanks DT, we have never been big on family videos, hundreds of 'stills' though

[woofgang]

I think the best thing that you could do would be to make it as easy and un "big day of huge importance" that you can. If she is truly looking forward to it then she doesn't need fuss, if she is feeling emotional she doesnt need your emotion too. I mean this nicely. Help her get sorted, arrange for a nice dinner for you all to share at the new flat. Maybe some lovely flowers but already arranged on a vase. Don't make a big deal of it.

[chrissa1]

Could you make up a montage of all the really good and memorable ones to put on her wall then Mass?

[tamborine]

Collect her special photos, update the frames and put them up and around for her. Memories are spiritual.

[mojay]

I thought hard about your question - in a similar situation here - I'm 76 and moved into 'sheltered' 1 bed etc last Nov from a 5 bed , 4 rec. house

It was hard seeing a lot of my life end up in the charity shop for the local hospice and most of the furniture going to the local auction room ( cheques still arriving for that )

I can't really think what would have made anything special about the day except knowing that possessions and property don't amount to much - and it meant a lot to have the family around while getting sorted.

That's not been much help - but I know how she feels!

[MASS1961]

Thanks Woof,Chrissa & Tamb. I think a combination of your ideas would be good.

I wouldn't want to go over the top on the day so I hear what you say Woof. And maybe after a couple of weeks give her a montage of all the good photographs, and some freshened up oldies too.

I have a plan!

Also thanks Mojay, very much appreciated.
I have spoken to a number of people who have 'downsized' into this type of accommodation and they have all said they wish they had done it month/years ago. I'm hoping it will be similar for Mum.
I feel quite guilty for suggesting it but then realise the situation was getting very difficult for her and this will help her cope.

[tamborine]

Put her favorite music on MP3 & set it to play as she enters her new home.

Introduce her to YouTube, if she doesn't know of it; and answerbank, ofcourse - we're all in this wee box, 24/7 :)

[mojay]

haha yes - tamborine . I have friends on another forum and we meet up in the chat room every evening at 9.00pm-ish where we laugh and chat - share experiences and problems - it's like having another family .

[MASS1961]

Ha, Tamb.....Thank You but ANYTHING techie from a video recorder years ago to mobile phones (she's had 3 and never made/taken a call), DVD's goes way over her head. Bless her, i've given up trying.

[tamborine]

mass, you're so caring of your mum. Can you teach my sons ?

[DTCwordfan]

photos excellent idea, title/place, who's who, and date them on the back, just in case of any memory loss down the line - gives y'all some chance to share memories too.

[MASS1961]

I owe her pretty well everything, she's always been there and now we can hopefully make the next few years as comfortable as possible for her.

[Jumbo747]

My m-i-l moved to a retirement flat 4 years ago and says it's the best thing she did! The house was getting too much for her and now she has neighbours 'on tap' and many (optional) activities in the communal lounge eg cards for sale, children's books (which she finds invaluable) and coffee mornings etc.
She does, however, miss her garden so we try to send her flowers/plants/arrangements whenever appropriate.
Good luck to her.

[MASS1961]

Thanks Jumbo, i'm hoping it will be the same for Mum. Appreciate your comments

[Jumbo747]

Have been thinking about you this week (as I was 184 miles away caring for my own 95yr-old mum!) - and wondering how the move went? Don't expect it was all sweetness and light, but hopefully your mum will settle soon. x