Advice needed re daughter.

[Traci66]

My daughter (28) does not have custody of her son, until recently she wasnt allowed access to him unsupervised. Last month the court said that she could have access unsupervised and overnight stays with him, but these were only to take place when he was staying with me.

The problem is that I have had him with me for over a week now, she has come to see him most days but does not seem to know how to interact with him, she hates to be alone with him and after spending a couple of hours with him in my presence starts to get very short tempered with him when there is really no need.

I have tried everything I can to get her to do things with him, even just reading a story or watching tv but she doesn't seem to be interested. Just now I have made her take him to the park for an hour by herself, he is a lovely little boy and totally adores her. Can anyone suggest something I can do just to try and get her to spend one on one time with him now it is allowed?

My grandson is four and the reasons she Nantes allowed unsupervised access was down to drink and drugs which as far as I know she is no longer using drugs and not drinking a fraction of what she was.

[bednobs]

has she tried to do to a children's centre with him? or get the outreach workers to see them at home? or what about homestart - you are matched with a volunteer who works with the family to help with the needs they have

[Traci66]

She is supposed to be attending parenting classes but has just moved from Newcastle to York. I don't know how long it is going to take to get it started here, I would like suggestions as to what I could do in the meantime whilst he is staying with me please.

[bednobs]

seriously - look at the CC near you website - they have sessions every day that she could go to (sing alongs, HV clinics, messy play and so on) Literally, she could go tomorrow

[bednobs]

and the great thing about the CC is the support that you get from other parents who have children the same age - they could be really positive role models for her

[ronnietoon]

im of a similar age to you daughter and my drink problem has caused fractions in my family so i am kind of writing this from her point of view.

to any addict when they stop its often described as losing a loved one(mad i know)

from personal experience its like all the emotions that were blocked come back for me rage one minute panic the next.

the person i "snap" at most is my mother who i would do anything for

[firewatch]

Soft play centres are great and i swear by play groups a the cc, hey really work. I started going when madam was 4 weeks and they were my sain bit of the week!

[nfn]

Does he live in foster care? If so, it might be work seeing if the foster carers have any ideas. My friends foster children and are always happy to help out parents/grandparents when they can. Good luch

[Traci66]

Thanks for your answers, he actually lives with the man who brought him up since he was born, he s not the biological father, but he is his dad in every sense of the word, we, including dad, did not find out about parentage until last December. I will look into the groups with the cc.

[bednobs]

http://www.yor-ok.org...il.htm?serviceid=2061
here's just an example of a group near york - you'll work out which ones are closer

[Traci66]

Thank you bednobs

[Traci66]

Quick update ..... Last night she said she would be here late today as she was going into town to see a friend, I told her she had to take grandson with her and for her to pick him at nine this morning, when she arrived (half an hour late) I told her that I was going out for the day and would be back for about seven tonight, so have had a lovely peaceful day and going off to see another daughter in Leeds soon, have been really surprised that she hasn't been back with him all day.

[mrs_overall]

That is good news Traci. I will keep my fingers crossed things work out eventually. He is an adorable little lad xx

[Traci66]

Thank you MrsO.

[Smowball]

I hope that it all works out for you. You sound like a lovely mother.