I could strangle him!!

[Smowball]

Son's mate meant to call for him at 11 but hadnt turned up. He said mate had only txt him an hour ago so he couldnt understand it. Know ing how he gets things wrong I asked to look at his fone and see the txt. Well I have never seen a kid freak out so much. He kept walking backwards with the phone, away from me, clearly trying to delete stuff. I said dont be silly,I just want to see what this boy sent. By now he had ran in the garden and at the top of his voice was shouting " Please mum no!". Christ knows what the neighbours thought. by now he was so hysterical I was thinking what the hell is on this phone - he is only 12! Threatened him that I was confiscating it anyway for a bit due to the ridiculous scene, to which he did a sprint which Usain Bolt would be pround of, straight through house and into front garden, by main road, where again I could see him frantically trying to delete god knows what. Cleed him in and aain he did th shouting and the sobbing. by now the neightbours must be thinking that I have given him a good hiding.At that split second his friend turned up, quite oblivious, Son handed me the phone toddled upstairs with him. And yes, he has wiped every txt and chat on it. So he is upstairs, I have the phone and am absolutely seething and plotting appropriate punishment.

BTW I have never ever looked at his phone ever.

[EcclesCake]

It's probably just a whole load of swearing, probably of the type that would make a navvie (sp?) blush but 12yr old boys find amusing!

Punishment? Tell him that you fancy redecorating his bedroom and take him off to B&Q......make a bee line for the Barbie wallpaper and curtains ;-)

[Mosaic]

Simples.
No mobile.

[cazzz1975]

I feel for your lad, he sounds very stressed out for a 12 year old

[ummmm]

I think my kids would freak if I asked to look through their phones.

[B00]

Bit of an over reaction by your son isn't it? Does he normally freak like that?

[ladyalex]

What are you punishing him for, exactly ?

[lcg]

don't look! it's private - if you give him a phone....it belongs to him and you should trust him to use it. if not, don't give it back. you can't really punish him for something he hasn't done (or that you can't prove!).

[tenrec]

Agree with what Eccles said.

[Smowball]

Well if he hadnt been so smug when he handed it back then I wouldnt be so mad.He was literally smirking, how he thought that would help I do not know.

[lcg]

don't give him the phone back, then. sorted!

[andy-hughes]

It's probably horrendous for him, but pretty mild for you.

Bt twelve, children already live a parralel life at school and socially to the one they live at home, and they honestly believe that you don;t know that away from you they swear and talk about sex etc.

Have a calm chat with him - explain that you respect his privacy, but that he should be careful about the material he stores on his phone, not because you check it, but because he never knows when an adult may wish to see somethign on it.

Hopefully that will reasure him that you don't think he is some kind of demon!

Early adolescence is a dreaful time, try not to be too hard on him.

[ummmm]

I agree with lcg.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with lcg, can you not respect his privacy?

[EcclesCake]

I don't think Smow was trying to invade his privacy, simply reread the message from Jnr Smows friend to see if he had misunderstood it.

I have to do this frequently with Mr Cake!

[cazzz1975]

kids that age are very touchy about things like that so do over react, I still dont understand what he has to be punished for

[B00]

to be honest, I think id react the way smow did.

She only wanted to look at the initial text, not scroll through them all. Perhaps if he hadn't reacted so OTTish she'd have let it go.

Personally, I wouldn't have wanted to look at my child's phone messages until they reacted so badly, but then i'd REALLY want to see them if they behaved this way. They'd make me worried over what exactly they were trying to hide.

[ummmm]

He might have messages in there slagging off his parents!!

[B00]

Quite possibly, and more than likely ummmm, in my day we made do with diaries for that :P

But in my head i'd be running the worst case scenarios, like dodgy porn etc.

[Old_Geezer]

Tell him when he deletes texts it's still in the memory until another text overwrites it ;-)

[Mamyalynne]

He has been through turbulent times at home recently, maybe confided in friends and did not want Mum to be upset.