Boyfriend and new things

[Leapers]

Hi

I have been with a guy for a few months now and it is going well in most aspects however i would like to try new things rather than the same old things, but he is quite nervous about it all and whenever i try to talk to him about it he will sort of close off or just roll over and go to sleep. Any ideas on how to handle this??
thanks

[smartie733]

how about having a few drinks? usually that allows you to talk more freely and if he doesnt like it blame the drink? or just take control and try it. in my experience men like that

[trt]

Try to get him to watch a soft porn film together, not hard core as that might put him off.

[bednobs]

when you say new things, do you mean like mint choc chip ice cream and hill walking, or sexual things?

[sophie_1003]

lol bednobs! before the 'roll over and go to sleep' part I didn't realise she meant sexual stuff, I was going to have a moan about some of the countries my boyfriend refuses to visit lol!

[brenda]

I'd be quite nervous too, what did you have in mind , jumping off the top of the wardrobe or swinging from the chandeliers? Seriously tho, I think this is going to be an area where a gently, softly ,softly approach will pay dividends.

[Riss]

Its usually the other way round,with the guy wanting to "try new things".

[ummmm]

Anyway....I think 'a few months' is not long enough for some people to feel relaxed enough to try new things....

[bobjugs12]

Get it out of yur system with someone else. Try his brother, dad or best mate. Failing that, give me a bell

[Bbbananas]

It's still early days leapers. Give the poor guy a little while before you get out your box of tricks, whips and handcuffs.

[Leapers]

Thanks everyone
some useful tips i suppose i shall have to wait a bit longer, but when i say a few months i mean nearly 7 months, i dont have any specific things i really have to try sort of thing i just want to have the openess of talking about them so then if we want to try it we can. He just doesnt want to talk about it but will happily discuss his friends and other peoples sex lives openly with no problems at all. Also tried the few drinks apporoach and oddly enough the same happens he just goes to sleep!

[bobjugs12]

Could he be gay?

[Leapers]

People have actually asked me if he was gay but as much as he does have very much of a feminine side i dont think he is, and i surely hope i haven't turned him gay! I think it is just because of the way he looks.

[mollykins]

bi?

[ummmm]

7 months is still not long. Some people, including me, feel very vulnerable at the beginning of a relationship. Once the love and trust is established.....then anything goes :-)

(I presume he's not just a missionary man)

[redman41]

Tie him to the Bed then take advantage of him. When he wakes up in the morning tell him he was only dreaming !

[society]

"when you say new things, do you mean like mint choc chip ice cream and hill walking, or sexual things? "

AHAHAHAHA! this ^^^ make me laugh out so loud, think I scared the fishes.

[Barmaid]

I have no idea of the sort of things you are thinking. However, the key here is building it up little by little. He needs to feel comfortable with everything you are doing. Your first problem is the fact that he won't discuss it with you. My belief is that the key to a great sex life is communication - in and out of bed (I assume this is what you are talking about - otherwise I am going to look like a loon). He sounds as if he is shy and doesn't want to discuss those really personal thoughts.

I can't say exactly what I would do because I don't know him, but my gut instinct is that I would say "I really need to talk to you about our sex life, will you discuss it with me". My fall back position if I felt I couldn't do that is to try seduction. Candles, music, scented oils, long massage, taking matters slowly and gently into your own hands......

[redman41]

lol society ! I think ummmm has hit the nail on the head when she asked if he was a Missionary.

[CAJ1]

I brought my boyfriend a box called 52 naughty weeks of the year for valentines day, it has scratch cards for him and for her. You take it in turns to pick one card a week, scratch it and do what it says. Its a fun way of spicing things up with no pressure!