Feelings of pain and sadness

[dazna]

About nine years ago I had a close, relationship with a woman, which ultimately I ended, as I thought we did not have a long term future. All this time later I still think about her, and recently ended up in tears after finding an old letter she wrote me. She is hapily married with two kids now, and I'm happy too, even tho currently single. How can I not have these waves of sadness and pain every time I think about my ex (which is often....) ?? And is this just me, or do other people have these strong feelings about stuff so long ago??

[sqad617]

No.
9yrs ago you both split.

She is now happy.

You are now happy

End of story.

[Velvetee]

Perhaps it's because, deep down you are feeling lonely and miss what could have been, happy family life etc, not necessarily the woman in question.

I think many people will have pangs of momentary regret. I expect you ended the relationship with her for the right reasons and you're probably just going through a stage of melancholy.

[Roughquest]

I understand how you must be feeling Dazna. It's never easy moving on, but it ended for a reason. It is quite normal to think back to happy times when we are at our most vulnerable, afterall we are only human, she made you happy once, so enjoy the memories you have of the time you spent together, may they bring you warmth, dont feel sad...I think we meet people for a reason... and however much or little time they spend with us, they make an impact on our lives.

[dazna]

Velvetee, Roughquest, thanks a lot :O)

[lil123]

I think it's perfectly normal to have thoughts like that when reading old letters etc.
I often get upset as I feel I wasted most of my life on my violent ex husband.
I am single too but the sad thing is I don't think I can ever trust a man again so will probably never get into a marriage again even though I'm only 37.
I am so much happier on my own though and the freedom I have I love as I never ever had this before.

[mandimoo]

time is a great softener of negative memories.

[jessica86]

first you have to acknowledge that you made a mistake when you leave your girl friend because you did this when you are not sure of your feelings then you have to forget this by all your strength and start a new life get rid of all what belong to this girl to help your self then control your thinking of her just when you begin think of her try to think in any thing else and fill your time as u can and i suggest to watch this video at http://www.mytopclip.com/play.php?vid=10562 this video is about How come you are still single and i tell you many people stuck in their minds if they don't control their thoughts best wishes