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Relationships & Dating

what have i done ?

my missus went out friday and basically came back sat afternnoon she has been with some guy and i know bits but she doesnt even care what she has done ive been good 2 her for the best part .no kids even though we wanted em.i went to her friends tonight and went crazy im now on 2 charge of common assault 1 on some dude the other her it was a push on her anyway from this im now homeless and where im staying u can see her house this is killing me i loved her and still do what do i do im messed up big plz reply


dazzer180  Tue 04/11/08 20:39
sara3
Tue 04/11/08
20:54
maybe she could see your violent tendencies.

good luck to her.

and spotted, btw.
dazzer180
Tue 04/11/08
20:57

Question Author

8 years ive never hit her. tonight was a push im just confussed i dont think im violent in the slightest.
x31tna
Tue 04/11/08
20:58
hi dazzer i am sorry to hear about that :(

for whatever reason you felt you had to do what you did, to her she is not worth it

from an outsider looking in, it looks like she did not feel the same way about you as you did her and i know it is hard because although in different circumstances i know the pain and in time life goes on and one day you will look back and be glad that you had no commitments

i hope in time your broken heart heals and you find someone who deserves all the love that you have to give and likewise

take care and hope all goes well xxx




sara3
Tue 04/11/08
20:59
2 charges of common assault? I'd call that violent.
jno
Tue 04/11/08
20:59
you did the wrong thing. With luck the court will decide there was some sort of provocation involved - courts are sometimes more lenient to betrayed husbands, though seldom to betrayed wives - and go easy on you. But you need to get your head sorted. Being dumped is bad but no excuse for responding with violence; with no child (and no marriage?) she's free to do as she pleases. Have you considered some sort of anger management therapy?
no.knowledge
Tue 04/11/08
21:11
c'mon sara i don't know many men who wouldn't flip their lid under the circumstances
face it dazzer it is over make life as hard as you can for her without using violence, Take the car stop paying to the mortgage, put an advertisement in the local rag , see if you can roger one of her mates.
that sort of stuff ,i know i would .
jno
Wed 05/11/08
00:02
other thing: try to move away. You won't feel any better seeing her all the time.
dazzer180
Wed 05/11/08
00:31

Question Author

ty im trying hard to stop thinking stuff and the assaults i am sorry in my heart but my head is just so messed up i would have fought lions for that girl anyway some of the replys have helped
lil75
Wed 05/11/08
08:15
What we have to realise here is that everyone deals with things differently, as someone else said, most blokes would react in this way, and to be honest, so would I, and im a woman. This woman has been with you for 8 years so there mustve been something there on her part for it to last so long, the fact that she has behaved in this way, is probably totally out of character and is difficult for you to take in.

My advice to you, is try and work out where it went wrong, was she feeling neglected, emotionally or physically? Thats normally why people stray...Your best off trying to talk to her and asking her why, meet up in a public place (if she will) and talk about where it went wrong, yes you made a mistake with losing the plot, but dont punish yourself for it, its what most people would do!!!! Good luck x
sammmo
Wed 05/11/08
08:22
maybe you've been too soft in the past.. you're better off without her if you can't trust her why be bothered about her..theres plenty more fish in the sea and alot of them will be faithful.. start fishing mate.. and don't fret over the old trout..
lil123
Wed 05/11/08
08:43
My ex husband was always going off with other women behind my back and used to go out say on a Thurs and come back on Monday usually just to try get more money to go back out.
I put up with this for years until I got pregnant again and when my son was born I had had enough.
I have rebuilt my life about 100 miles away from where we lived and now nearly 2 years on some days are still a struggle but I am so glad I don't have to put up with that.
If you do go back it will only get worse and more so because when you love the person you take even more crap.
The violence is another issue here that maybe you need support with to control your anger.
You need to call on your friends and family for support to get through this and you will come out the other side.
Sgt.Rock
Wed 05/11/08
08:47
You'll be better of without her in the long run just wait and see.
happyone2
Wed 05/11/08
10:46
im guessing here..............but do you have a drink problem that needs addressing and had you had a lot to drink before you assaulted someone ???
mandimoo
Wed 05/11/08
12:48
try to learn from your mistake and move on. i promise you it will get easier.
sqad617
Wed 05/11/08
13:34
Letīs look at the facts......your wife went out on Friday and came back on Saturday after being out all night with another man. You then went round to this other man and "nutted" him, although 2 charges of common assault. Seems normal behaviour to me....what is the problem? Clearly you cant beat him on an intellectual discussion, so violence, in this situation seems a pragmatic if not illegal, response.
I agree with no. knowledge and disagree with sara3.
Love her? Forget her...it will never work.
Rodger one of her mate?...nice one no.knowledge
123everton
Wed 05/11/08
23:22
What's done is done.
I don't condone violence against women but if you've only pushed her then that's common assault (so long as you did'nt push her down the stairs) it's one of those strange curiousities in life.
If a man cheats on a woman it's his fault, if a woman cheats on a man, it's his fault, if a man has been cheated on by a woman and gets angry he's a nutter, if a woman has been cheated on by a man and destroys his car, clothes, TV etc it's kinda funny and you go girl...
It's over, move on (and further away) find yourself someone decent, she sounds like a wrongun.
dazzer180
Thurs 06/11/08
01:15

Question Author

just guts me at 1am that night she phoned and said she loved me from anytime after that shes got lost.i think she been round his everynight so far. U GUYS think this was some1 she has met before friday or this guy is cassanova lol anyway gonna get through this screw up. ty all for your rply they given me some strength
MaggieMay126
Sat 08/11/08
01:25
hey ur gf is probably all mixed up right now and has to think stuff through. she probably feels bad enough about this and you should too. because you do know the differentce between right and wrong. Maybe she just needs some time to think things through. or maybe you guys are moving way too fast. And she did this to get your attenion on her, it probably was a way of telling you to slow down. Take a break and refuel. Because most of the time couples that go to fast, burn up fast. So just give it some time and let things play out. and see what happens you might be surprized. Because i think you have done enough for today. Don't you think so?
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