Is he just flirting with me?

[4getmenot]

The other day I had a msg on FB from a bloke that I used to work with asking what I'd been up to. He asked if I missed him to which I said 'course, you were a good worker' he works in my local pub and used to quietly give me free drinks and I've just always thought he was being nice because we worked together. He said he couldn't be bothered keep going on FB so he gave me his number to txt him so I txt him and had a chat, he asked whether I'd be out soon and said he'd buy me another drink I said that it hardly comes out his pocket and he said 'well see what I'd risk for a lovely looking mate'. Anyway first thing this morning I get a msg saying 'hey good looking what you up to' so I said I may be out this weekend and he then said 'well if you want a hug or anything let me know' so is he flirting, being friendly, being too friendly I jyst don't know. I don't want to say ok lay off and sound big headed if he isn't. I was going to say 'well yer I;m coming out coz my BOYFRIEND is watching boxing' but then decided not too I've never had to tell anyone I have a boyfriend before to warn them off. What do I do? He got married last year its all a bit strange he's suddenly txting me.

[4getmenot]

I�m just not one of those girls that wont ever speak to blokes when out because I have a boyfriend or go running to my bloke saying �he�s chatting me up� some blokes might not know I have a bloke. As I said I managed not to sleep with every bloke in town just coz they flirted with me before I had a boyfriend

[greggydm]

No he is not flirting with you. He doesn't like you.

[MrBounty]

Surely, if you've told him that you enjoy flirting "as much as the next guy", then thats a clear sign to him to carry on and that something might happen.

By carrying on the flirting and by going to the place he works (and letting him give you free drinks), he's gonna think you're up for a bit of extra too.

To avoid all misunderstandings, why dont you just stop the text flirting and go to a different pub.

You say you're more than happy with your current bloke, so why carry on the flirting with this guy?

I dont think im the only one who can see this leading to temptation.....

[Panic Button]

Sorry, but a married man telling someone else they are good looking and asking if they want a 'hug or anything' isn't innocent flirting. He's looking for a bit on the side.

A bit different from jokey banter with an anonymous person on t'internet.

(Mind you, you are good looking)

[4getmenot]

why does that mean something might happen because a girl is flirty. Actually I'll rephrase it I said I enjoy a bit of banter as much as the next. I go up that pub it is my local and as I said before he started msging he would buy me drinks and I didnt see anything wrong with that. I just dont see that now because he flirts that it is seen that I shouldnt chat back and not speak to him or any other bloke because I have a boyfriend. I am more than happy with my bloke, I will continue goign to the pub and I will continue to be the strong woman I am and the humerous, flirty woman I am. Its not going to laed to temptation if I;m not tempted at all and dont fancy him in the slightest. I have put all stop to the flirting by telling him that we know where we stand. My question was merely asking if you thought he was flirting because I didnt want to say anything if he wasnt.

[4getmenot]

thats what I wanted to know panic from a mans point of view. I know my boundaries with having a joke and harmless flirting I dont think this guy does now. I have just had a reply saying yer but I bet you would if you didnt have a bloke. Erm I think I will ignore him now.

[4getmenot]

and thanks panic blushes

[MrBounty]

Well, if you dont want to him to be flirting, then why not just say it?
Why would it be wrong, in any instance, to say "look, we're mates, thats it, i have a boyfriend, let's keep the chat to friendly banter"?
That way, he would know you really didnt want anything extra curricular and he would stop trying.

The texting, asking for a hug, giving you free drinks, etc, is clearly him flirting and, seeing as he's married, wanting a bit of extra.
Even if you are flirty by nature, by flirting with him, you are giving him a green light to try his best to get what he wants.

Next time you see him, tell him to stop the mild attempts to get with you......it doesnt have to be anything bad you say, just as long as it's made clear you dont want anything more than friendly banter with him.

Mind you, by telling him, it'll probably mean he wont talk to you as much, the texts will stop and there will be no more free drinks.....

[happyone2]

i must say i think youve been very niave, you say you are a strong woman just harmlessly flirting, but if you need to check on this site whether a man is flirting with you, i suggest you might need to re evaluate what you find acceptable and just because "you know" you are being harmless doesnt mean the receiver "knows" the same thing............................

[redcrx]

does anyone flirt anymore without a hidden agenda? doesnt seem like many on this thread do.

[4getmenot]

erm bounty I put 'look I;m all one for friendly banter you're married I have a boyf we both know what we mean' hows that any different?? I guess I dont want to be too blunt and make him feel awkward around me or me feel awkward with him. But you are right. My bloke will flirt on a certain level like me. but this boy has kinda gone past that level and if I heard my bloke saying things like that to someone he would not be my bloke anymore

[4getmenot]

well happyone i needed to know from a mans point of view. I'm not naive I just dont really think I'm that good looking to be flirted with.

[MrBounty]

4get, im just saying that sometimes, if a guy is showing interest and he gets a hint of the same back, then he thinks he's in with a shout....whether one or both are in a relationship or not....

If being blunt and making him feel awkward is the way to stop him trying to hit on you, then so be it.
It's not the best, but it's just one of those things that has to be done.

As you've txt him and said you're both in relationships, hopefully that'll put him in his place.
If not, then the best thing is to take him aside and tell him face to face.

Trust me, if he hasnt taken the hint by txt, he will keep trying, then things will get messy - i.e. you will both fall out, never speak again and things will be said behind eachother's backs!

[4getmenot]

good advice. I guess theres no harm in a bit off flirting but he has taken it a bit far. maybe he didnt know I had a bloke but he does now

[4getmenot]

Ok he gone way too far now. He�s just told me he�s very good with hugs and with his tongue. You were right panic. He�s also said hope you�re not showing or telling anyone about these msgs and deleting them. Mmmm maybe he is another ABer

[redcrx]

so what if hes another ABer, he still wouldnt want his mrs to be one of those you showed would he?

just tell him a jokes a joke and to leave it be.

[4getmenot]

Ok now I;m freaked out I have never been close with this boy worked with him that�s it. And now he�s said if things were different do you think you would have been interested. I�m just now thinking this is a wind up.

[redcrx]

just say no you wouldnt have been

[MrBounty]

Or, better still, just dont answer the texts.....

[fayelc123]

Hey 4get, I had to laugh at this. He sounds like a bit of a prat! Lol. I def wouldn't txt him back again & i'm sure he'll get the msg!
I def wouldn't stop going to the pub either though, why should you. I would still go & get the free drink if i was you! You aint done nothing wrong, he's probably feeling a bit embarrassed now! x