Was seduction necessary?!

[Barmaid]

Had a bit of an on/off thing with someone since last summer. Asked a question about him in autumn and advice was generally along the lines of "delete him" so I did. Then just before Christmas we got talking again � in the meantime, we had both seen other people. Anyway, we went out, had a brilliant night (followed by all night/day sex) and kept in touch � but I took the view it was reasonably casual (despite the fact that I am hopelessly in love with him and he presses every button). I suggested we meet for New Year for good food, good wine and great sex and he invited me to his. I went and was utterly blown away. He went to a huge amount of trouble and did the full on seduction routine, champagne, candlelight, smoked salmon, treated me beautifully and I felt like a princess. Spent all evening gently caressing and kissing me and telling me how much he loved me. Spent the next week sending me lovely text messages. And now nothing and he's back out there dating again!! WTF was that all about? It's not as if I needed seducing!! Is this a game? Clearly I need to ask him what the hell is going on and whether NYE meant anything and will work up the courage to do so. I just wondered what others think, please.

[sam100]

shagger if you ask me....u need to have it out with him.sit him down ask him the question...if its a yes great if its a no delete his number, move on and dont look back..
i know its easier said than done but otherwise u could just end up being a 'f***k buddy'?

[angel-cake]

Im afraid the truth is, he is just not that into you.

Please dont waste your time on this loser.

[boro1986]

This is a strange one! If he knew he could "have you" anyway why go to all the trouble he did? How old is he? To me and a male perspective (Posts on this Q are all calling him loser, sorry girls) i dont think he knows what he wants, if it was just sex why say he loves you. Maybe he is inmature, not ready to settle down or be tied down. You need to get him and sit down and ask what he wants no sex etc face to face he will or should let you know

[Eve.]

Awww hon, that must be horribly confusing, I've know a guy like that and it used to twist my head up into all kinds of knots. Even he didn't go to that extent though.

I'd worry about making myself vulnerable to him (ruddy pride) but it might help to try and work out what he's playing at. Even if he's not playing games I think he needs to know that it feels like it and that's not good for you. At least it might make him a bit more mindful of your feelings.

I suppose it's possible he isn't consciously playing games and doesn't realise the effect it's having on you, I've come across them. It doesn't help the way you feel though.

Hope it all works out for you hon xxx

[yummymum]

maybe the shoe is on the other foot, when he was being nice to you how was you being with him because if you was being casual he may think your not interested and as backed off.

[Barmaid]

Thanks for your opinions guys. Boro - my point exactly!! It's not like he needed to persuade me to put out!! Jenna, I know exactly what you mean about appearing too vulnerable. Yummy, perhaps you are right, perhaps I gave out the wrong signals - although I thought from my actions that night it was fairly clear I reciprocated. It's not like he is 12 - he is 40 for goodness sake!!

Anyway, problem is now out of my hands somewhat since he is ignoring me - so I guess now I shall never know. Angle-cake, you were probably right!!! Going to soothe my broken heart by climbing into a wine bottle. Thanks all. x