Feel like I don't belong...

[jennyjen02]

For a while now I've just felt like I don't belong anywhere.

I HATE the general university culture. Basically everyone I know at university is just obsessed with alcohol and clubbing, it's just not my scene! They seem to have no real passion for anything, just getting drunk. I wish I could fit in, but I just can't. :(

I really like myself for being different, I just wish I could find more people my age who are the same. I just want some friends in my university that I can relate to in the same way I can relate to a couple of my friends here at home.

I've never had a boyfriend, and feel like I'll never meet anyone I'd be happy to start a relationship with., except for one guy, but he's gay. Am I being stupid for worrying that I'll never meet someone? I suppose it will just happen. I'm just lost.

[peeved-of]

No I don't suppose for one nano second you did, did you?

[Razzle09]

Sqad


Medical course, medicine and treatment of the sick is all about integrating with people.....she can't do it.........medicine is not for her............"jack it in" or "pull yourself together:

Help me understand how this 'hard line' attitude will contribute to the development of capacity for empathy and understanding of the sick.

It would seem that bedside manner has changed since I left the medical profession!

Thankfully I am well. :-)

[sqad617]

Razzle...which is the better......hard line or soft....we will never know with jennyjen02

[Razzle09]

Jenny...forgive us....I think our narcissism has managed to get in the way of your problem....,typical of the medical profession. lol

Read through the threads. Take what is useful from them and and with the responses that you don't like .....well pay attention to them too! You may learn from them as well.

Sqad...I think you and I may be 'old builds'.

and Jenny as we say in Northern Ireland "Enjoy what you can and endure what you must"

My best to you in your future. X

[jennyjen02]

Well I certainly wasn't expecting this amount of answers!

Have to say I'm completely appalled by what sqad has been saying.

I have no problem whatsoever with the fantastic course that is medicine, and have worked hard, along with my peers, to pass my first year. I have never worked so hard in my life, but I know that I've coped extremely well so far. I have NO obligation to justify why that is by telling you why I'm a good medical student and why I have what it takes to be a doctor, not going just for your satisfaction.

I honestly don't believe that in order to be a good doctor I have to change who I am. Thank god you're not my doctor though. Thanks for all the helpful answers, I'm definitely going to get more involved in clubs etc next year. xx

[sqad617]

"I'm definitely going to get more involved in clubs etc next year. "
Good girl, that is the reply that I had hoped for.

Good luck.

[Razzle09]

jenny.....if there is a student counselling service.....use that too....don't be proud. Use whatever you can to get you through the course...ask for help and take it when it is offered.
Sqad has been generous with his advice and sometimes a kick up the backside does help but not always.

It's up to you to decide what you need and what works best for you. ;-)

[ummmm312]

Sqad's a good guy (deep down) he probably was hoping to bring a bit of fight out of you as he's 'been there'

Do what you need to do and good luck to you Jenny :-)

[filthiestfis]

sqAD617-you know ****-all to be making those harsh comments about Jenny.

Unfortunately when we come looking for help on this website we have to contend with idiots like you making prejudgements. Shame as the majority ABers are fine.

[MWB]

I think Jenny needs a bit of a kick up the bum.

The last thin I'd want is an indecisive, namby pamby, woe is me, type of doctor treating me.

"Oh no, she's gone into cardiac arrest - what should I do?" "I wish I had a friends or a husband I could relate to & could help me fell better about myself; but I don't & even my cat hates me, & I don't feel any passion for anything, I'm so lost!"

"Double oh no, she's died, oh no, now EVERYONE will hate me!"

Jenny, toughen up or think of another career.

[jennyjen02]

I am soo sick of people relating this to my medical degree. It has absolutely nothing to do with it! And that "oh no, everyone will hate me!" comment is completely void! I never mentioned in that post a fear of people not liking me.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the degree I'm studying, or my future profession.

[jennyjen02]

And I "don't feel passion for anything?"

I'm passionate about A LOT of things. Wish I knew how to delete a thread cause this has been blown out of proportion completely.

[zzxxee]

you dont say much about what you are studying is this the right course for you??
maybe if you could get a part time job outside uni you can mix with people who you can get to know
you also dont say much about your hobbies and interests.. you need to find people who like the same things as you

[mrs_overall]

Hi jenny.
My eldest son has just completed his first year at medical school. He is currently going through a goth phase and oh boy does he stand out. He's 6'5", only wears black clothes and wears tons of makeup. He struggled to "fit in" but refused to change who he is. By not pretending to be interested in the drinking/clubbing culture, he found that he attracted friends with similar tastes.(He does drink BTW, but it's not the B-all and end all of his life).
As other (helpful) people have said, have a look at the many societies and see if there is something that takes your fancy. If there isn't, then be brave and go for something completely different! You WILL make friends, but try not to come across as desperate as it will show! You will have a boyfriend one day, but again, if you give off an air of desperation, most men will run a mile. It sounds like the gay guy could be a good friend - cherish that friendship.
Keep your chin up and be proud of who you are. xx

[sqad617]

filthiesfis.
You have your opinion and I have mine.
If someone poses a question on AB I have every right to answer the way that I see it.
I would never call you an idiot for your opinion and can only suggest your lack of courtesy in calling me an idiot is born out of ignorance.

[sqad617]

Olive......did No1 son go for his interview for Med School dressed as a Goth?

[mrs_overall]

sqad.....NO! He went suited & booted, with only a hint of eyeliner lol

[123everton]

You're passionate about lots of things, just that going out and getting steaming drunk isn't one of em.
In this country if you're single and want to meet people and you don't drink, then you don't go out.
I don't know what branch of medicine you're specialising in but look towards voluntary work, there are people who offer treatment to the homeless etc in drop in (or drop out if you prefer) centres, you'll be adding to your medical knowledge and meeting others with a passion for kindness and helping people rather than selfishness and indolence.
There may even be a an organisation you can spend the summer with doing treatment in Europe somewhere like Albania and that who'll take you on with an eye for help in the future.

[sqad617]

Everton...she is a first year medical student.