Ok this might be a long rant so be warned. Some of you might be aware of my relationship status, I am really happy with my bloke and have been with him over a year, before that I spent 5yrs trying to be with a man who wouldn't commit, who treated me like crap and in the end I gave in to my now current bloke believing I deserved a bit of happiness. Well Saturday I went out drinking and the ex turned up would not leave me alone. I said hello etc and he tried coming back with everyone else to my party and I told him he couldn't. No this morning he has text saying he likes a girl, turns out this girl is a mate of mine that I had round mine last week. She's just split up from her boyfriend and to cheer her up we had a girly night. Maybe I should be grateful he's going after someone really nice, but I am also so angry and want to warn her to stay away. I know if they get together I couldn't be mates with her. But why do I feel this way? And why the hell is he telling me
4getmenot Tue 01/07/08 10:50
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legend please dont start all that. As I;ve said before we have a past course I'm gonna always have feelings for him. But this is about him trying to be with a good mate of mine. I dont think I could be friends with her anymore.
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I agree with legend entirely, seems like you will be jealous.Typical woman though.
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Oh my lord it aint jealousy its the fact he cant go away, y one of my mates??
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Its not that you still want him is it. Is it because both of them know you and could discuss you.
he shouldnt have told you, if he wanted to ask her out then so be it, he doesnt need your permission so hes done it to try and wind you up.
Hes an @rse
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Just leave the situation well alone 4getmenot. If they get together it's up to both of them and why would you not want to be friends with her? I don't know why your ex has got you involved - it's very childish of him.
If you are all in the same agegroup (and I now know how old you are ;o) ) then you should all be acting as grown ups. If you are happy and content in your present relationship then all this shouldn't bother you.
Has Legend got a point here? Runs away and hides..............................................
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As I said legend there will always be feelings but its not jealousy, believe me I have met a lot of his girlfriends, its because this girl is a mate. But then I’m hoping she would have listened to what I went through with him and have sense not to fall for it. It is a small town legend and yes people do end up with other exes, fair enough but he is texting and telling me!! I wouldn’t fall out totally with her but it would change out friendship, how could it not. I just replied telling him fair enough go for it, but I dont want to hear anymore.
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Then ban his number from your phone 4get. You have moved on from him now and anything at all that he does should not affect you. This really isn't anything to get upset or annoyed about.
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loftie the number thing doesnt matter you know what kind of town I live in. How can it not effect me when my mate will be coming round talking about it.
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And 4get, don't forget that all relationships are different - who knows how he may treat another partner. She doesn't need warning. As I said before, you are all grown ups. If she doesn't ask for your advice then don't give it.
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and also we have eachothers number because from time to time we see how eachothers getting on. So if I banned it now he would know I;m annoyed
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My last post and your coincided.
Small town or not 4get, don't get involved in it. If she talks about him to you then that's fine. If she complains about him then you can sympathise and that's fine too. You are planning in advance.
Stay away from the situation and concentrate on you and your fella.
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You feel this way because as you say you do have feelings for him and they will always be there so from those feelings stems not jealousy exactly but it would hurt to think that they could be happy with someone who isn't you but who you're close to. I wouldn't be happy if my ex decided to date one of my best friends. I'd be even less happy if it looked like it was going to work out and that would be why I'd take a step back from the friendship. It's not a nice thing to admit to but I think it's completely true. As much as we get over people and want to see them happy, it does hurt if they decide they could be happy with one of our friends.
I would assume he's telling you either to make you jealous or to let you know so that you don't find out from other people. They're two reasons at the opposite end of the spectrum but one of them will be right and it's up to you to judge which it is from what you know of him. It's not a call anyone who doesn't know himpersonally can make.
As to your friend going out with him.I'm sorry to say but it does become none of your business. If someone wants to be with someone else it's best to stay out of the way as you'll be the bad guy if you try to stop it. In my experience it's best to voice your opinion only if asked when it comes to the love life of other people as no one will thank you for it, And generally they'll do exactly what they want to anyway. You can only be a support to a friend in a bad relationship. If you feel in this instance you can't do that and it looks like she wants to go out with your ex then you can tell her that you can't be there for this one as it upsets you and you walk away and leave it to serendipity.
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You stay with him for 5 years even though he treated you like crap, you leave him but still want to know how he's getting on. You can't let go, women!!!
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I think its just been sent to me to see what I say. She doesnt even know he likes her, Hopefully she has a good head on her shoulders.
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Hi 4Get,
My gut feeling is he's trying to get at you a bit and by telling you, maybe he's hoping you will be jelouse! It's possibly HIM who has feelings for you!!!
I would personally give my blessing to him and then go about your own business! Chances are it wont go anywhere and what you'll get out of it is the satisfaction that he's not part of you r life anymore!
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Oooh some stars!
Have a nice day 4get. I'm now off out on a jolly with some old folk (even older than me) from a local care home!
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raggy I wasnt with him for 5 yrs, read the question I chased him. And not treating me like crap but more it not going anywhere. so we parted on friendly terms if you get me, you have to be nice in a small town like this. China how you put it is like you are in my head. Thank you. He's done the 'I dont know if she'll like me though' so I have just said I have no idea I dont speak to her about him so how would I know and if he wants to know he should ask her. All this is not to say I dont love my bloke I am with, after things we have been through lately I know that more than ever.
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I’m sure we have all been there. Where we chase someone and they don’t give anything back. Well I was strong enough to get out but that doesn’t just stop the feelings. In my eyes true love never dies. I think most are right when they say he was trying to get a reaction, and I’m sure nothing will come of it.
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