A friend in need

[4getmenot]

My best has fallen deeply for someone but its one of those situations where they have become really close basically as if they were going out but they don't sleep together, they kiss and cuddle, she stays round there and when I see her that all she goes on about. Its just its started to get to that stage where she sees little things and buys them for him and the other week she went to his place while he was at work and tidied. She's starting to look silly especially if he wont go out with her. He say he just isn't ready, but I've told her if he isn't then why stay round there and keep accepting presents. He is an ok guy but I just have a feeling there's something more to it. Anyway today she rang to ask me to buy a game off net for him that he wants its �40.00 and I said do you really think he's worth it. She said it was late birthday present but he has never bought her anything. Lastnight he was texting me and I asked him what he might be getting her for valentines and he said he wasn't going to get her anything. I know she will get him something, basically what do I do, do I tell her to calm down and stop being a mug risking her to get upset with me or do I let her make her own mistakes and get hurt which I know she will. Its just so hard to sit by and watch her make a fool of herself.

[up4it]

Sometimes all you can do is sit by and watch her make a fool of herself and then help pick up the pieces afterwards

My sister is a prime example there was no telling her at the time as she 'loves him' but then when they split up and he has run off owing her �60k - what do you do???

As you say you risk losing her friendship if you meddle too much. Just try and calm her down a little (not in a pushy way) and hope it all works out

[redcrx]

i'll tell her for you sis! This guy is quite happy to receive gifts and have his place tidied when it should be him making sure she knows where she stands.

[4getmenot]

I have just tried saying it in a nice way, by saying to her I;m not trying to butt in, I like him and its nice to see you happy but you dont have to buy him presents to let him know you care. It might make him feel bad.

[4GS]

Don't say anything to her 4get, I doubt whether she will hear you anyway,m it seems she is stricken by this guy and will come to realise that it's going nowhere in her own good time.

The best thing you can do (at the risk of sounding clich�d) is to be her friend and be there for her when this happens, and it will happen,



eventually

[meglet]

You are a lovely friend to be so worried but there's nothing you can do. I was in the same situ as your friend and was besotted with a guy for years who told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. I eventually broke free from him and he got a girl pregnant a few weeks later and I presume they're still together. You friend knows deep down its not going anywhere, I know I did, but I still kept defending him.

By all means tell her, me friends did, but I took no notice. She'll see the light eventually and she'll know you've stood by her.

[4getmenot]

You see meglet I was too like that I guess thats why it gets to me aswell