Am I Gullible..............

[sandrajo]

I think I am a really nice person, I get on well with everyone and have loads of friends, I always give people the benefit of the doubt and I'm honest and trust worthy. So why is it a new friend of mine has just made a complete fool out of me, why? I don't know, it is really getting me down as I've never been treated like this before. What should I do, wallow around in self pity, or hold my head up high and get over it. ( you just can't switch your feelings off though can you)

[mycats]

It's a horrible feeling when someone makes you feel stupid or gullible. I personally think it's one of the worst feelings in the owrld.
Try not to feel bad, this "friend" of yours has done something wrong not you. Just try to look at it as a learning experience and let it go (easier said than done I know) but dont give them any power over you by making you feel bad.

[sandrajo]

Thanks cat : ) But your right it is one of the worst feelings in the world.

[raysparx1]

Hi sandrajo,

You come across on here as really nice, what happened with this so called friend ?

[kissyfur]

Can I ask what he/she has done?

[minti]

How sad that someone would want to hurt you. I wonder if they're secretly jealous of you because of all the nice attributes you have listed. And how sensible you should think so logically about the problem. Allow yourself to have the hurt feelings that you have without letting them fester inside of you. I would say approach this person privately and explain you have felt hurt by their comments/actions. Give them a chance to apologise (or not). If they are not repentant then put the episode behind you and give them a wide berth. Keep your nice friends in your life instead. At the end of time we will all be accountable for our own actions. Keep on doing good to others and staying the nice person that you are. Above all, don't gossip about this person. If they are inherently nasty others will soon find out for themselves.

[BigBishop]

People who are too nice often get treated as a doormat.
Toughen up a bit.

[sandrajo]

Suffice to say this person made me believe by their actions that I was a good friend , I'd rather not go into what they did, but now I feel like a fool.

[raysparx1]

Drop them then,friends don't crap on each other, they look out for each other,and are there through thick and thin,this is not a friend,sounds more like a user of people.

[Looshead]

YOU think you are a nice person? What does others think of you, that is the question. Do you barge in offering all sort of help, or buy things for others that are not wanted just to prove what a `nice` person you are? I have known too many people that do this and then get offended what the `gift` or `action` is not appreciated. Of course, if this is the case, the majority of your "friends" will be too polite to say anything and maybe, just maybe, this latest friend sees mo reason to pretent to be polite. I find it quite disgusting on this site when people reply to a question such as your with an outpouring of pity and comforting which is obviously so false as they have never met you nor your friend(s) and have no idea of the true situation.

[BigBishop]

I agree with ray, they don't sound like a real friend to me. Move on.

[kissyfur]

Couldnt agree with ray more, try not to dwell on it, rise above it and see them for what they were. Unfortunatley there are some rather horrible people about, just be glad knowing that you are not one of them x

[mycats]

How do you know people on here dont know each other? You dont know how long we have been in contact.
Maybe the fact that sandra hasnt come on here spelling out exactly who did what to upset her should be an indication f what kind of person she is? Seems like a nice person to me

[mycats]

That was obviously aimed at "Looshead"
by the way is that the real "Loosehead" with a new name or an imposter?

[BigBishop]

They don't know her.

[sandrajo]

Thanks for your input looshead, your entitled to your opinion, and I appreciate other peoples input if they know me or not. hence the reason for asking the question.

[sue11]

I Sandrajo, looshead has made a point, a bit strong mind you! But it is always worth trying to examine if you have done something to hurt or offend others without realising it! However you seem from your question like a nice person and I will take you at your word! Here is my twopenny's for what it is worth!
I knew a girl some years ago, thankfully she was not one of my friends, although to me at the time she seemed quite a popular person. This girl did nothing but bitch about other people behind their backs. I was listening her her having another go at someone one day to one of her friends and suddenly the thought struck me that she was very sad and probably had no confidence herself as she had to bring everyone else down to feel better about herself. When I realised this about her, I started to look at her in a whole new light and realised that she was not as popular as I thought. I also found myself less and less bothered by her comments about others and after that I started to actually feel a tiny bit sorry for her!!
I would say that this new 'friend' of yours may be jealous of your popularity, has not really experienced it herself and is trying to bring you down by belittling you in some way? Your other friends know the real you, so if she is trying this, It won't work, so I would not worry about it!

[BigBishop]

Why not ask your "friend" why they have done this?
Problem solved.

[raysparx1]

maybe we don't know her Looshead, but do you let people crap on you ? I don't,why should she, you don't know the full facts either,but from what she has put, that is what I based my answer on.

[sandrajo]

Again the reason I asked for advice is I've never been in this situation before, my friends I have known for a long time know me and I am a good friend, If I was a bad friend they would of ditched me years ago, which isn't the case. This was someone I befriended in the past few months, and was obviously wrong in my estimate of them and our relationship.

[raysparx1]

Good point BigBishop, ask the "Friend" to explain!!!