Can Any One Help Me Unpick This?

[sacha.86]

I've been single for a while and have recently decided I want to get married. A very hansom and well presented man - who seemed to be surrounded by good friends - approached me to tell me how well he'd been thinking of my son. I smiled said thank you, noticed a wedding ring on his finger and became overwhelmed by fear. He then walked away. I'm baffled by my trail of thought and by the sense of fear that overcame me. Can anyone help me unpick this or put some understanding next to these sorts of encounters?

[Retrochic]

how old is your son?

[sacha.86]

Seven

[Retrochic]

So a married man who you do not know comes up to you and says he's been thinking about your son:
a) where did he meet your son or how does he know him
b) where were you when you had this encounter
c) what has this got to do with you wanting to start dating again?

personally I would be very wary if an unknown man came up to me saying he'd been thinking about my son -think I may even call the Police to be honest.

[starone]

I am very suspicious of this. Is this man interested in you or your son? Maybe I am being over-suspicious but in view of bad reports in the press regarding children I would be very careful.

[sacha.86]

We were in a cafe. I wasn't really paying much attention to anything around me but my son and his daughter, or friends daughter, were smiling over at each other. I'm very shy and find social situations with strangers very awkard, I'm never going to get anywhere if I shut down every time someone speaks to me.

[sacha.86]

Seriously, you'd consider phoning the police?

[Retrochic]

Firstly sacha is English your first language? Are you meaning that your son was playing with his daughter in a social situation and he said what a nice little boy he was? This would be normal and not spooky and does not mean the guy is trying to hit on you either!!
Alternatively if you and your son where walking in the Park and this guy came up and said 'I am thinking nice thoughts about your son' -well yes I would call the Police - its all in context.

[sacha.86]

Lol. Yh I gathered that much

[sacha.86]

Lol! Yh my first language is english n I didn't mean it like that I just couldnt recall exactly what he had said

[Retrochic]

So what is your question exactly? Why am I frightened of married men? or are you anxious about joining the dating set again?

[sacha.86]

It's more my trail of thoughts and the sense of fear that I want understanding of

[Jackdaw33]

Sounds to me as though he was taken by your son's behaviour. Purely a compliment, think no more of it.

[Retrochic]

sacha you have a very strange way of writing English its grammatically more like French than English -just saying.

[tonyav]

sacha.86
Question Author
It's more my trail of thoughts and the sense of fear that I want understanding of

That's something that only a psychologist could probably answer, sacha.

[Jackdaw33]

People often used to approach my mother and say, "What a lovely, little polite boy you have", to which she would invariably reply, "You should see the little sod at home!"

[Retrochic]

I think the little boy is a red herring jackdaw -she really wants to know why she feels frightened when men talk to her.

[Prudie]

A psychologist might say you saw the ring and were overcome by fear because deep down you're terrified of getting married or commitment. Have you already got sometime in mind you want to marry?

[sacha.86]

I suppose my first thought was what do you want? Okay you want to tell me something positive, I'm grateful, "thank you", now what, notice a ring, fear!!! Maybe it's got something to do with feeling like I can't speak to men/married men. I suppose if I speak to men to me it means something or maybe it's what I've been conditioned to believe?