Hi Tinkerbell I feel for you I really do....what you say reminds me so much of my ex hubbie and still my best friend forever.. he has had such a time of it in the last 4 years with stays in hospital too but I am seeing the best side of him I have seen in many many years.
If you are having similar difficulties to him I know that it is good to talk; it is grounding and you need to know you are normal and not the only one out there suffering.
It has been at least a year since I have had a call from him where he is having an attack and needs a friendly ear but I know when he needed that it really helped him...
so...Tinkerbell as I would say to my ex a year ago, who is now well, very happy, for now panic attack free and calm and sleeping well, taking his medication, meditating, in a stable relationship and finally working again...you are not on your own, you are very normal, I hope you have plenty support and it will not be like this forever. Friends and acquaintances are that because they care and they are happy to be there for you. If they are friends then they wouldn't have it any other way and will never say you are being silly...this was meant to be a quick note sorry it droned on a bit....hey keep chatting to whoever you can when you need to. xxx