how can my brother meet women?

[flipnflap]

My brother has hit 50 and is divorced, living alone in relative isolation, and self-employed although quite successful. Like most blokes it seems, he prefers younger women but hardly ever meets anybody these days. After bad experiences Internet Dating, he refuses to do that again. I'd like him to find someone special, but I don't know anybody suitable and/or single. Anyone got any suggestions as to what he can do to increase his chances of finding love? One friend reckons cookery courses are a good bet, another suggests he get a dog...

[jno]

ladybirder, think golf clubbing...

[boxtops]

He needs to join clubs and activity events which will expand his social circle, where he can meet likeminded people, men and women.

Btw why are you so worried about him? I was divorced at 50 and spent several very happy years on my own - occasional dates but nothing heavy - it was a brilliant time, it's not vital to be part of a couple. When I did meet someone, it was a man younger than me - so the assumption that all blokes go for dolly birds is just not true. I'd rather meet a range of interesting people first, not rush it and not look desperate, so you get invited to drinks and parties and outings - that way, he might meet someone when he's just not expecting it.

Singles holidays (not Saga!) can be good - my friend met her husband on a singles holiday to Kenya.

[cazzz1975]

stop being so damned sensible boxy ;)

[boxtops]

LOL :-)

[S_C]

Your brother will find hind his next partner in what ever means he finds comfortable, be it a newspaper column or out shopping at his local tesco's.

i honestly fail to see why people look for set boundries when looking for a partner , simply because you never seem to find what your looking for and during that search your walking around with blinkers on. Instead of searching for a younger woman on the internet , would it not have been more prudent to just be himself and let himself see what is avaiable to him. after all we rearly view ourselves as others see us. I would hassen to add there are also many attractive and active women around who are also 50.

He wants a partner he should socialise , isolation will only limit his options

[Craftypig]

So jack you are saying that two consenting adults with an age gap cannot have a fulfilling "like-minded" relationship? You would pass up an opportunity to be with someone you love because you are more concerned about what other people think? Get real.....

[boxtops]

I don't think jack's saying that, crafty.

[Craftypig]

"There are many age-gap relationships which *do* work..........and there are many that provide great hilarity for on-lookers......"

You sure?

[jackthehat]

Erm.....no..I think you'll find I didn't say that, craftypig.

I said that the 'meeting of minds' is the important bit. The insistence that the person you are seeking 'must' fit into a template you have decided for yourself can limit your options and choices and lead to spectacular mis-matches with people who are unsuitable except for the narrow parameters you have set?

Is that easier for you to understand?

[cathfromsaron]

don't look for 'love' but genuine friendships of both sexes!

then love will grow or be found in an unexpected place ... but i did meet my husband on dating direct!

we exchanged messages for a long time beforehand though! x

[cazzz1975]

she said there are relationships that *do* work....

relationships that work are normally the like minded type

[Craftypig]

Im sorry I cannot date you, people will laugh at me...

[boxtops]

that's what I thought, jack - someone like me (for example!) doesn't meet up with a bloke my own age because that's what everyone expects :-)

[jackthehat]

I don't for one minute think that many of the 'older' men in those relationships see or care that they are making chumps of themselves.......

But neither do I believe that they are in truly fulfilling relationships, either.

[Craftypig]

Can you honestly say that people who are not of a similar age cannot be like minded, have the same interests? There are usually only two people in a relationship, if there is an age gap and it works, it works it isn't any one else's business...

[jackthehat]

You appear to be reading things which I haven't written....

[sara3]

"if there's an age-gap and it works"... yeah, but this guy has already excluded women of his own age group.

[Craftypig]

Ok jack explain to me what you mean when you say older "men are making chumps of themselves"? I think I read that clearly enough, and I am assuming you posted it, unless of course someone else has logged in to your account?

[Prudie]

He's assuming he likes younger women because he finds them more sexually attractive but that's not love. He needs to drop his pre-requisites, join some clubs or classes and see what happens.

[Eve]

The meeting of minds is important. I was chatting up by a nice young man not long ago - met him at a friend's wedding. The fact he was nearly 10 years younger than me put me off - moreso as his mindset was quite different to mine, in quite a different place and the ten years seemed to make a difference in that case. I'm sure if he'd been the man for me - even piqued my interest enough to go on a date - it wouldn't have.

I know very immature guys older than me and very mature guys considerably younger than me but I'd want someone on a similar wavelength.

I'm 33 and can hear my bodyclock starting to tick and wanting to settle a bit - a youngun (or anyone!) who wants to be out clubbing til the early hours every weekend etc... is unlikely to appeal to me now.