Unfinished poem dedicated to my sick dog

The night sky is lit up by stars
One by one each flickers away
One by one each love is dead
Until the sky is black and gone
One bright star is all that remains
I reach for the light
but it pulls away
and flickers just the same
Let me fall; so it can rise
Let me dullen; so it can shine
I pray with all my heart
I cry with all my tears
I work until I sweat
Just to save that last star in my sky

What is your honest criticism?
23:28 Thu 15th Mar 2012
 
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Only 1 answer

I like it, but it needs to be finished, hopefully with some optimism that your dog will recover.

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