Whats the funniest thing someone has said to you?

[stompe]

My mum (rip) said if you fall off that wall and break both your legs dont come running to me!

[Ethel]

I think every mother has said that, Stompe :)

Along with:

if you carry on doing that, you'll be dead and then you'll be sorry;
if you don't stop blarting, I'll give you something to blart about

[sara3]

when my son was about 4 he had a can of Coke. I found him staring into it and looking confused. he kept looking up at me, and staring back into the Coke. I asked him what was wrong.

"there's an eye in my Coke!"

[stompe]

Sorry dont understand no.knowledg

[rabbitygirl]

My mum, whose escapades are always a source of a laugh, was laughingly recounting her Xmas with my sister.

She said she had disgraced herself ... again. Acting out a charade a bottom burp took her by surprise. But they let her play again the next night and my mum picked up her card.......

it read 'natural gas'.........

[Ice.Maiden]

LOL!

I hear funny remarks all the time, but the most recent one was when someone left work on Christmas Eve. He was hobbling out of the door, so I said, "Awww...what's the matter George? You've got a limp."
"A limp what?" he said......

[sara3]

so stompe... where did you come from?

[Barmaid]

It wasn't what someone said to me, but the complete idiot I made of myself at the car windscreen repair place a couple of years back. Having had considerable damage to my screen, I called them and made an appointment. I parked the car in front of the reception window, waltzed in and announced to a room of men (as I pointed), "can you see my dirty great crack". One spat his tea everywhere, two others collapsed laughing and me and the manager went beetroot red!

[Ice.Maiden]

I bet you wanted the earth to swallow you up, barmaid! : )

[sara3]

nice one, barmaid!

I took my car into a garage to change a bulb (it's very fiddly under my bonnet!) and the man was trying to hold a mirror, a screw-driver and a torch.

I said, "can I hold anything for you?" (surely innocent enough!) and he just went into hysterics for about 10 minutes!

[Barmaid]

Knobby, it is just something else that has gone wrong in this house. Sodding cowboy builders. I have already had to have all the plumbing under the sink replaced. None of the doors shut (worrying as they are fire doors), the front door won't open unless you kick the bu99er, the lights in the kitchen are complete sealed units so when a bulb goes I can't replace them, there is no shelving in the airing cupboard, a board in my bedroom doesn't just creak it HOWLS everytime you stand on it, the skirting on the stairs has daylight showing through it, there are 8 2-4mm cracks in the living room, the intumescent strips are peeling off the doors, only half the radiotors work, the lock on the back door has almost seized and as you know, a light switch now won't work.

Me thinks I need to contact NHBC!!!

[stompe]

Mothers womb sara!

Whats all this Who are you lark?

i would never hide behind another username,why i dont see no reason !quite happy to answer any questions you all have!!!!

Your curiosity astounds me lol

[Ice.Maiden]

But the thing is - you have to laugh back, don't you! Those sort of innocent remarks always amuse me, and it's usually us women who make the gaffes.
When I first saw my new car, I asked the males present if they thought I'd be any good at handling it. No need top repeat the risque replies. : )

[pinktwink]

we asll hsve pigeon holes at work for all incoming mail. One day on the corridor a female staff member said to the head who is male " I stuck that in your hole" !!!

she had obviously left fome post in his tray we hope

[sara3]

just wondered, stompe.. you just arrived and settled in very quickly :o)

[stompe]

Probably you have all been on here a long time and dont realise what a friendly bunch of nutters you seem to new people (with some exceptions) LOL i can only settle in with ALL you help and i hope i have!