I will be the new God, Well I cant possibly do any worse, who will follow me?

[RATTER15]

I will allow Mother Nature to control all earthly things, with no extremes of rainfall, drought or cold, I will bless man and Woman with intelligence, love, compassion and understanding. You don't have to follow me or my Son as you will have free will, "you wont need to follow me but I will be your guide.

Thou shall not know of anger, bitterness, violence or aggression.
Thou shall love man and women as equals.
Thou shall not take any person, of any sex, creed or colour to be enslaved.
Thou shall love all living creatures as equals (But I ain't giving up meat, I'm still working on that one)
There will be no Heaven, there will be no Hell. At the end of your life you will rest in peace for eternity.
There will be no disease or suffering.
Though shall share of the crops that will grow from nurture.
Though shall never know of financial wealth or fortune or suffering from the lack of, for there shall be no money to exchange but to barter and exchange goods.
I will not have built any magnificent buildings for you to congregate to sing my praises or to beg my help or forgiveness.
I will see your pain or your sins and I will give you aid and forgiveness as I see fit.


OK, I need ten Commandments, come on guys and I don't want any from the original Ten Commandments and I don't want them carved in stone.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

I would welcome any further suggestion, im not perfect yet.

[RATTER15]

No I ain't disappeared, Ive been waking my dogs, cutting the grass and generally doing good things, unlike Christians!!

[philkool]

Thou shall not walk your dog while cutting the grass

[naomi24]

Ah, well I think I can help you there God, old chap. How about giving your dogs free will? Then they can walk themselves Wonder if that might work on the lawnmower too? Mmm ... there's a thought. Couldn't magic our dogs and lawnmower too whilst you're at it, could you? :o)

[askyourgran]

Thou shalt not appoint any Greggs bakeries into the high street to tempt thy servants into buying cornish pasties.
Thou shalt not allow any female over 25years old to wear leggiings.
Thou shalt give all pensioners a home in Majorca or any warm climate of their choice.
Thou shalt ban all gymnasiums but allow hunky personal trainers to keep thy servants fit twice a week.

[keyplus90]

Thou Shalt be great full that your Internet connection has no problem.


Otherwise……………………..simply you would not be able to project yourself as God. What a shame, a god who depends upon wires.

And then who says in the beginning that “Follow” me and then soon after that says that “you do not have to follow me”.

[naomi24]

Keyplus, and what does your God depend on? A bunch of terrified human beings and a 1500 year old book. He'd be better off with technology! At least with that he might have the ability to communicate!

[naomi24]

Gran, you’re incorrigible! Hunky personal trainers indeed! (Not a bad idea though). :o)

[RATTER15]

Keyplus, remember humour :) I actually did not command you to follow me, just a request and its not under threat of death either!! Keyplus, I should stick to balancing rams on sticks and other forms of animal cruelty, that actually fits in quite well with religion, sacrifice a few rams and you will be half way to pleasing your god I'm sure!!

[naomi24]

Good evening God, Have you got enough suggestions to compile your final ten commandments yet? :o)

[RATTER15]

No I ain't disappeared Naomi, That "bloke" only rested for a day, when you do the right you need a bit more rest!! as I'm on holiday me and my lady God have been out and about and admiring my good work.

OK well obviously I cant rely on my "not" do loyal subjects to take my proposal seriously, I have taken a few into account though, I have listed my 10 Commandments as follows.


1. Thou shalt not be a greedy barsteward, especially if you are a politician!

2. Though shalt not bear false witness against your neighbour, unless the the lying sod deserved it anyway!

3. Thou shalt not pork thy neighbours wife or her or his ass, nor her donkey but may have a few jollies with their servant if she is a bit hot.

4. Thou shalt not steal, unless you really really need it and you wont get caught.

5.Thou shalt not commit adultery, as above ^^^

6. Thou shalt not work on the sabbath, unless its at least time and a half or nobody else will cover your shift.

7. Thou shalt not bow before any other God or goddess, unless she is really really hot and you're on a promise.

8. Thou shalt not murder. unless the barsteward deserved it and had it coming anyway!!

9.Thou shalt not have any carved image of any other godly being, A filthy piccy of Kylie is permitted!

10.Thou shalt never own up to those receipts from Madam Whiplash.


There, my work is done, I shall rest again, maybe over a pint and a Devon Cream, Tea:)

[naomi24]

Aw, come on Ratter! You can do better than that! What sort of God are you? :o)

[Carakeel]

Yup, I agree with naomi24 here, you can do far better!!! LOL, and as for the sevants ... hands off those as well me lovey!! :o)

[Mozz71]

Thou shalt abolish the church and disband the Vatican. All its riches shall be spread equally amongst the needy.

Thou shall have no need to worship me on a Sunday. Thou shall have the opportunity for a lie in instead.
The geek will inherit the earth.