An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the powerful river stopped flowing.
A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? "
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? "
"VERY WELL" said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
Mani Hussain Wed 14/05/08 20:31
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Truly, even in jokes he is a loving Git. I mean God.
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old joke and not funny...unless you are a christian who gets a kick out of atheists been eaten alive by bears...
(much like the Old Testament story of kids been eaten alive by bears because they called some self righteous prophet "baldy"....real bad sin eh?)
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Ah come on,
I thought it was funny
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I thought it was funny, and I laughed at Waldo's post too - although that's really no joke!
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Question Author
Jeez guys, post a light hearted joke and people still cant resist using it as an opportunity for some cheap Punch and Judy point scoring for team atheist. I dont know why anyone still bothers with this section.
As for wizard who posts jokes about Jews being burned and then gets all upset by this type of thing. Get a grip man!!
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How many cheap Punch and Judy points are we on now, Team..?
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I thought it was funny Mani, ignore them.
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mani seriously what kind of answers did you expect on here when you posted this. When people like john wizard and naomi are still allowed to be members after their behaviour you have to expect this type of thing.
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ghetto poet i thought it was fiunny if people don't like it fine ,but they are allowed a view or should everyone who objects get kicked off the ab site
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well john has a long history of bad behaviour, most recently inciting murder against muslims and a muslim poster. naomi is probably the most blatantly xenophobic poster on answerbank. they should both be banned.
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I thought it was funny, but obviously only because I am clearly therefore a delusional irrational right wing intolerant Christian fundamentalist atheist-hater.
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I thought it was funny
Don’t you just hate it when people say that’s on old joke?!?!
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Does Octavius get any cheap P&J points for his criticism by implication?
How many P&J points is it for a novelty fairground gonk..?
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For those atheists that didn't like the joke, here's an alternative version to provide a bit of balance....
A religious person was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that god had created.
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him.
He ran as fast as he could down the path.
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes.
He looked again and the bear was even closer.
His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Then the bear ripped his head off.
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No Manni Ha Ha-Not another cheap jibe from the Muslim Fun book.
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ludwig, I imagine the religious person went to heaven.
Which is nice.
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