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How Do I Handle Deconverting
59 Answers
I was not raised religious and my dad is agnostic and my mom always believed but didn’t go to church but I felt something missing in my life and got into a local Baptist church after I found God on my own in 2019 as I loved the friendly people and the way they preached the Bible and Jesus but then over time realized that no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t leave behind all the rap and rock music I love and friendships I cherish that came from bonding over that music and I then realized it equally wasn’t my true self to oppose homosexuality or think that all non-believers and non-Christians go to hell when I truly thought about it and that my flaws weren’t improving like I thought they would. So my parents would not shame me for making my own decision, but my mom might be a bit disappointed due to the fact that she does think faith is important and appreciates that I led her back to God and going to church but what I really am concerned about is whether or how to tell my church friends who would be legitimately upset and not bother to understand any of my reasons for deconverting and am stuck between dreading the unpleasant conversation but also feeling it’s honest and liberating to tell them and not have them deceived into thinking I am still the believer they know when I am not and then if they want to be friends and are willing to not insist on dwelling on talking to me about reconverting then I can handle that but if they don’t want to keep hanging with me I’ll be fine and probably better hanging with my secular friends and family who appreciate me regardless of beliefs and bond with me over music and other things. Plus, when I at this age of 21 that I am now think of certain things I have done that were so wrong throughout my childhood and teenage years, it makes me question whether my nature really is flawed and needs redeeming, but then when I think of my amazing Dad who is agnostic, I see nothing about him that says sinful in nature. So I really just don’t know how to handle this and if anyone could help I really would appreciate it.
Answers
The most important thing is that you are true to yourself. You can't live life by other people's rules and nor should you try. Stop going to church if that's what you want and if anyone asks just be honest and say religion is not for you. The people who love you will still love you and your real friends will remain friends. The rest you don't need. Good luck.
09:19 Wed 20th Oct 2021
You two stop looking at each other's bellybuttons
Noami KNOWS what I mean
Rather obviously you will not show that the bible lies by looking at bible quotes (*) so stop trying !
(*) something called Tarski's theorem on the indefinability of truth - you cannot show truth or falsity without going outside the system. Big deal for 1923 but rather obvious a hundred years later
Noami KNOWS what I mean
Rather obviously you will not show that the bible lies by looking at bible quotes (*) so stop trying !
(*) something called Tarski's theorem on the indefinability of truth - you cannot show truth or falsity without going outside the system. Big deal for 1923 but rather obvious a hundred years later
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