Our Last Line Of Defence - Our Seagulls

[joggerjayne]

Nobody seems able to do anything to stem the tide of illegal immigrants ... except ... our seagulls!

They'll sort the blighters out!

You see ... people moan about seagulls but, when it comes to the crunch ... you don't see any of those dopey robins attacking the illegal immigrants. Oh no, far too busy posing for Christmas cards.

[joggerjayne]

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/455130/seagulls-attack-migrants

(forgot the link)

[jno]

those are French gulls. Where were the British ones during the Blitz? We had to send humans up to keep Hitler at bay.

[stuey]

And it's probably them gulls from Brighton whats doin the damage, as the ones from Hove, Actually are way more sedate, not nearly as aggressive, and are much more particular with whom they associate.

[Togo]

Ha Ha You are right jogger! Make em all carry an ice cream or a bag of chips as they come through the tunnel. They would bolt back to stan in fear of their benefits and uman rites. before you could blink.

This post comes with a health warning for the self appointed umbrage takers on behalf of whoever takes their fancy right now. all spelling mistakes are deliberate!

[wolf63]

There are seagulls out there that have attacked dogs - two dead recently and a tortoise too. Dogs are descended from wolves so what size of giant mutant seagulls killed them?

[Togo]

You lot can laugh! my local council has now said that seagulls can't be culled in case we violate somebodies religion and human rights. Honest

[joggerjayne]

// seagulls can't be culled in case we violate somebodies religion //

Mine! In my voodoo church, the local seagulls are held in high regard.

[jno]

do you do them with teriyaki marinade?

[Togo]

Mark my words it will not be long before it is compulsory to walk around with a seagull on your head like Depp in that Lone Ranger film

[joggerjayne]

Not a bad thing. I have a polo shirt with one on, and a tee shirt. And a hat.

[Togo]

That's not a bad start. I've got a roof with 2 on and they are driving me crackers. 5am every morning sounds like a Scotsman with wounded bagpipes. [^+^]

[Baldric]

///The word seagull is actually an informal way of referring to any of the species that belong to the family Laridae, the gulls. There is not actually a single species called the seagull.///

[joggerjayne]

Balders, yes yes, I know.

But you know what ... for being so absurdly pedantic ... you get Best Answer.

And a hug.

From a seagull.

With big wings.

[Togo]

And a big sharp beak!(^_^)

[DTCwordfan]

Feed the flying rats Calcium Carbide in bread and stand back and watch the stukas blow themselves up..... Media URL: http://www.windstream.net/?domain=windstream.net
Description:

[DTCwordfan]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lvhN8icYt8

[Togo]

Nothing so scientific here DTC. I just scatter a few crunched up dog biscuits
on the floor and the great big cat from over the road pounces. When they come home from work and the daft moggie has dragged a couple of mangled gulls in through the catflap the pantomime is priceless. Problem is keeping a straight face when they are telling me that the cat is driving em nuts.

[Baldric]

Togo @ 2040.
If it's got a big *** I'm outta here!

[Togo]

Baldric. All true even the bit about the council.

[Togo]

Oh and its ginger, so I give the blighter ginger biscuits to keep it off my veg patch. ["\"]