At the end of the day, Barry: Football-balls

Q. Is it a game of two halves

A. Not half. The football clich� has become part of everyday speech, with 'sick as a parrot', 'over the moon' and 'the lads done well' becoming intrinsic - to greater and lesser degrees of knowingness - to the language of the land.

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Q. But what about the football-boot-in-the-mouth syndrome

A. The satirical magazine Private Eye has a long-running column called 'Colemanballs' - named for the master of the verbal gaff, BBC sports commentator David Coleman - in which examples of the great and the good getting their tongues twisted in the media are reported. But the balls aren't all in the commentators' court, as sportsmen and women have contributed some wonderful examples - and none more so than footballers.

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Q. Any examples

A. Too many to count, but here are a few on the business of winning and the nature of the game:

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'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.' - Neville Southall

'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.' - Peter Shilton

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.' - Vinny Jones

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' - Thierry Henry

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...and some players' thoughts on their clubs:

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'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - Alan Shearer

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - Stan Collymore

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate

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...on things foreign:

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'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukrainians will be more European.' - Phil Neville

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...contradicting themselves:

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'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - Ronnie Whelan

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' - Ugo Ehiogu

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.' - Les Ferdinand

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...on themselves:

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'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' - Johnny Giles

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.' - Alan Shearer

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...and other footballers:

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'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' - Ian Wright

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony [Adams] to own up.' - Ian Wright

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - Gary Lineker

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...and, what was that again :

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'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - Stuart Pearce

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' - Mitchell Thomas

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...and, lastly, the inimitable David Beckham:

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Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player ' Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level.'

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.'

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Mind you, when you're that good, who cares

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See also the article on sporting metaphors

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For more on Phrases & Sayings click here

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By Simon Smith