Happiness Of My Child

[crazygirly38]

Hi all,

i am sure most parents have these doubts when parenting their child/children....as i am a first time mum and doing it as a lone parent i get the odd pang that I'm not doing quite enough to promote maximum happiness for my 3 'n' half year old boy.

Is what i am occasionally experiencing normal.

does any one have any pointers on how to continne doing my best by my little boy.

Many thanks.

[grasscarp]

You are no doubt doing absolutely fine. The fact you are worrying shows you are trying your hardest. You can't do more. Relax.

[jourdain2]

First thing to understand is that when you become a mum you will automatically be guilty of something for the rest of your life - according to your child! Because you are thinking so deeply about your child's happiness I rather think that you are a very good mum. 'Best for' and 'maximum happiness' are subjective, sometimes it is best for a child not to have what s/he wants and therefore child is unhappy. I'm a grandma now and was a teacher, still involved with children, you are normal and sensitive to your child. It is what he 'needs', not 'wants' that is important. Hope this helps. :)

[jourdain2]

^^ That, plus being loved and secure.

[KARL]

Our elder son, aged about three and a half, developed a strategy for requesting something he fancied in a shop. Anticipating the response he would receive if he used the obvious phrasing, he would point at the article and say with heavy emphasis on the middle word: I need that.

You are no doubt doing your best which is all one could expect. One word for the future: Do not expect that your genuine and careful efforts (leading to excellent childhood happiness and well being) will guarantee appreciation into and throughout adulthood.

[Schlomo78]

I have to agree with all the other responses, as a first time (and only time) lone parent I constantly questioned whether I was a bad parent, doing it wrong, messing my child up, being too strict, having unrealistic expectations of how my child would/should act. Am i a bad mother? Should I let him do that? Should I have given in? I can say 8 years on (he is now 10, and has had counselling thanks to his father) that you will always, always question these things if you love your child and want the best for them. If you didn't care then you wouldn't be worried enough to ask other people. Unfortunately it's part and parcel of not having another person around to either justify or confer with about what you're doing. I reckon you're doing just fine :) *hugs*