ChatterBank1 min ago
My Late Partners Ashes
I want to ask you great guys at AB,who were so so supportive in my relatively recent bereavement.Where should I scatter my late partners ashes,that I have just received from Pure Cremation.
I know that I can scatter them in our largish garden,(or bury the urn) but I think it was anywhere that is a public place it might require permission.
We do have a river near us,which means his ashes would go down to the sea, 6 miles away,but I don't know if this would be allowed either?
Any (sensible) suggestions would be very helpful.
Doing this will help me to achieve some sort of closure.
Thank You,Gordon.
Answers
NN. when i go, my ashes are to be scattered at the top of Pendle Hill. The hill overlooks Burnley and is visible from almost everywhere in town, so that rather than have to visit a grave, my children and grandchildren need only pop their heads out of the door and look to the hill.
I'd scatter your partner's ashes anywhere that means something special to you and somewhere you may pass almost daily. As for whether something is 'allowed' or not, do it when no-ones looking. Best of luck.
With the vicar's permission, we didn't scatter, we buried them in a hole dug in the churchyard of our Cotswold village & I later added a small marble stone with simply her name & dates.
She was not from that village (Winstone), but from the north of England though she frequently went to the church at occasions, so she knew the place well. It is a beautiful, peaceful spot & we & family members call & leave flowers.
Is there a place that holds special memories for you? Or somewhere that your partner really loved? What were his passions in life? Golf? Fishing? Music? Theatre? (Open air performances in the case of the latter two).
My husband scattered his late wife's ashes in some woods that were part of their favourite walk in Wales when they lived there.
Hope this gives you some ideas. I think no-one objects to ashes-scattering if it is done quietly.
My cat (not the same as a partner, but we loved her) adored to lie sunbathing under our rosemary bush in France, so we bought a rosemary plant and planted it over her ashes. 🙂
Keith Richards claimed he'd inadvetently opened the wrong pot and smoked his father's ashes. Yeah, right. You'll probably need permission if you want to scatter them on the turf at Wembley, but for most places no.
As to where, that's up to you. Was there any place that was special to him, or to the two of you together? When I go I'll suggest (but certainly not demand) that they be placed with those of my parents, but they are perhaps too far away for this to happen. It'll be up to jno jnr and who knows, maybe he'll want me to be buried rather than cremated. All this is entirely up to the survivors; the dead won't know or mind.
Good luck.
I accompanied my wife and two B.I.Ls with their wives to scatter the M.I.Ls ashes into the sea at Portobello Beach in Scotland.We had a tape cassete playing bagpipe music and M.I.Ls children scooped a spade of ashes out the urn and threw it in the oggin. I was invited to do like wise but felt reluctant and just suggested I took the photos of this solemn rite.They insisted I chucked her ashes in the sea. As I reluctantly scooped a load of soot out the urn a nosey female dog walker approached . As she walked by she just had to have a gawp and got a faceful of MIL's remains as the wind veered as I launched Izzy's remains in the oggin.
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