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The thing I'm looking forward to most is the CLOSING CEREMONY.
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A bloke goes to the doctors complaining of a bad back. The doctor says " how did you do it ? ". "Having sex doggie style" said the bloke. "Well" said the doctor "...
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The wife came out of the bathroom after her shower stark naked and walked into the bedroom . She said to me " hey babe close the curtains I don't want the neighbours to see me naked"...
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I've had a new boiler fitted in the kitchen and when I run the hot water into either the kitchen or bathroom sink it comes out opaque , but after a minute or so the water in the sink starts to clear....
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Life is like a pubic hair on a toilet seat . . . . some days you get pi$$ed off ! .
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Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat .....Pi$$ in the sink
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A couple are sat in the lounge and the husband keeps flicking channels ...Football ...Porn...Football... Porn...Football ...Porn..The wife says " for f**ks sake leave it on the Porn channel ! you...
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Surprise sex is the best way to be woken up . . . . . . . .Unless your in prison.
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How do you spell his name ?...... Blair or ......... B liar ?...
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Has anyone else noticed that the word "yes" Isn't used much anymore ?. While I was listening to an interview on radio 4 recently I heard the word "Absolutely " used fourteen times...
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Can anybody tell me the name of the song that Michael Palin attempted to sing with the Russian sailors on his program "Full circle". Thank you.
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I've started reading Harry Potter but I think it's a bit far fetched.I can buy the fact that magic exists and that there could be such things as unicorns and wizards. But come on a ginger kid with two...
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I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today. Well I'm guessing she was poor, she only had 86p in her purse.
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Manchester united midfielder Park Ji Sung says a dog is not just for Christmas. . . It's also for sandwiches on Boxing Day !.
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How many years has Pat Rice been with Arsenal.?.
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since it started snowing all my wife has done is look through the bloody window. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
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Do you remember a rock and roll group called " Darts ". Their hits included Daddy Cool, Boy from New York city, and The Duke of Earl. Do you know what they are doing now ?.
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I bought the wife a gas mask for her birthday. It's bloody great when she puts it on to have sex .There are three distinctive advantages .She looks better,I can't smell her bad breath and ... when I...
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The homeless people are now selling a product to the people who masturbate too much ....... It's called the Big Tissue.......
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My wife's been missing a week now ........The police have told me to prepare for the worst........So I've been back to the charity shop to get all her clothes back .

301 to 320 of 376

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