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tonyav

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tonyav
was doing a therapy session with 4 young mums and their small kids. you all have obsessions'' he observed. to the 1st mum he said you are obesessed with food you even named your child candy'' to the...
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tonyav
with immediate effect viagra will only be able to be sold under its chemical name, if needed please ask for mycoxaflopin. thank you.
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tonyav
in the dark. after 5 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator she goes balistic. you impontent b@stard ! how could you lie to me all these years ? husband looks her straight in the...
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tonyav
says my hands are freezing cold''. her mum replies'' put them between your legs'' so she does and warms them up. next day she's out with her boyfriend. he says 'my hands are freezing'' so she says'...
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tonyav
well it's snowing again here in walsall, west mids. is it snowing where you are ?.
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tonyav
was asleep in class the teacher decided to try to catch her out and asks ' tell me april who created the universe ?, when april didnt stir, her friend little johnny jabbed her in the back with a pen,...
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tonyav
on the 12th day of chavmas my true chav gave to me 12 hooded jumpers 11 tags with asbo's 10 marlboro lights 9 sub woofers 8 pound voucher for jd sports 7 mates with acne 6 pregnant girlfriends 5...
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tonyav
well today 21st dec is the shortest day for daylight hours so after today it will start to stay lighter later by a few minutes every day, hooray ! .
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tonyav
fancies a girl in his office but she has a boyfriend. he approaches her anyway and offers ?1000 if she'll have sex with him. '' i'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and i'll be finished by...
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tonyav
drags a huge box to antiques roadshow in dublin and queues up to see an expert, '' where did you get this ? '' asks the bloke behind the desk. '' it's been in my loft for 40 years '' replies paddy ''...
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tonyav
was tryingto get into the uk legally. the officer said '' you have to pass a test to enter and have to make a sentence using the words yellow, pink and green. raj replied '' de telephone goes ' green...
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tonyav
my epileptic mate a stobe light for christmas. he'll have a f@cking fit when he see's it.
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tonyav
what does a scouse girl use as protection during sex ? a bus shelter. what do you call a 30 year old scouse girl ? granny. what do you call a scouse girl in a white track suit ? the bride. whats the...
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tonyav
man sitting reading paper when wife hit him across the head. he said, '' what's that for ? '' she said, '' i've found a piece of paper in your pocket with ' mary ellen ' on it ! '' quick as a flash he...
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tonyav
glasgow man see's job advertised as a f@nny waxer's assistant. job includes ' remove ladies knickers, prepare f@nny for waxing & then rub in oil after waxing' . man asks about job at job centre & is...
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tonyav
two mates having a drink. one say's '' if i went to your house while you were at work, sh@gged your wife and she got pregnant would that mke us related ? ' mate replies......... ' dunno about related...
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tonyav
man picks up a chinese girl at a disco and takes her home to his place. she say's '' me so horny, me do anythin for you ! ''. he say's '' how about a 69 ? '' she say's '' you f@ck off, me no cookin...
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tonyav
husband and wife shopping in tesco's when man picks up a crate of stella & sticks it in the trolley. '' what do you think your doing ? , asks wife '' there on offer, ?10 for 24 cans'' , he says '' put...
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tonyav
a farmer has successfully grown a field of vibrators. unfortunately he now has a problem with squatters.
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tonyav
police in liverpool have arrested 3 of 4 well known scouse islamic terrorists: bin snortin, bin dealin and bin thievin. there was no sign of bin workin.

661 to 680 of 699

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