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Smowball

1561 to 1580 of 1863

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Smowball
For some strange reason my 2 cats have suddenly started to get up on tops of worktops, dining table, and sideboard etc - infact anything above waist level. I normally find them wherever they are when...
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Smowball
Considering that China is approximately 40 times larger than the UK, and they have 18 Gold medals to our 6 so far, we are actual doing miles better than them : )
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Smowball
A lorry has arrived in London, loaded with barbed wire and wooden posts. Turns out its the Irish fencing team......... : )...
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Smowball
A guy says to his doctor, " I've hurt my willy in a surfing accident". Doc says "Did you fall of your board?" "No", he says. " I had to quickly shut my laptop when...
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Smowball
I had a leaflet come through my letterbox saying: " If you are an alcoholic then please call this number" It was from the bl00dy local off license!...
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Smowball
Not competing obviously!! lol. Just attending. Women's volleyball - think first game is Serbia v Turkey but second is team GB v Italy.
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Smowball
I have 2 cats. Sons ankles were covered in bites, which looked to me like flea bites. So as one of cats likes his bedroom to sleep in(a box not son's bed!) I hoovered all his room, sprayed flea spray...
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Smowball
Letter accompanying tickets for Olympic team GB football say: " The football is different to the other events and so we strongly urge you to not bring any bag at all with you - otherwise this...
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Smowball
Son's mate meant to call for him at 11 but hadnt turned up. He said mate had only txt him an hour ago so he couldnt understand it. Know ing how he gets things wrong I asked to look at his fone and see...
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Smowball
Whats the biggest lie you've ever told, why, and did you get away with it??
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Smowball
Had left my laptop open and a friend popped over. Whilst I was making a cup of tea she looked at the screen, which was open on some old questions I had answered. The one that caught her attention was...
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Smowball
Agghhh! I have finished the baby's bolero and it is ready to be sewn up. I did the left hand side and sleeve just fine. then got distracted by the tv whilst sewing up the right hand side - looked down...
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Smowball
A woman I know(our children are friends), her husband went missing 2 nights ago. She was in the bath and her son was playing outside. When she got out of the bath he wasnt in the lounge. He had gone....
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Smowball
He does not have a BEER GUT. He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. He is not a BAD DANCER. He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME. He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE...
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Smowball
My mother-in-law was being attacked by 6 men. "Shouldnt you go and help?!" shouted my wife. "Nah, 6 should be enough"....
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Smowball
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential...
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Smowball
Ive always had white flowers on the plants, which die off before you pick the spuds, but these ones have purple flowers??
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Smowball
Daughter(23) who I lent a load of money to very recently, asked to do the Race for Life with me this year. I paid for her to enter and sent her all the pack etc. She has just txt me to say she isnt...
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Smowball
1.Forgive your emeny, but remember the b*ggers name 2.Money cannot but happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. 3.Help someone when they are in trouble, and they...
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Smowball
My wife told me to go out and come back with something that would make her look sexy, so I came back p*ssed!

1561 to 1580 of 1863

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