The most common ghosts are visions dressed in white sheets with flailing arms.
These are people who died changing their duvets, destined to roam bedrooms forever trying to find the corners....
I shall take to bed and have my way with you. I will make ache, shake and sweat til you moan and groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point where you...
Dave was born without eyelids. So when he was circumcised, they used the skin to give him eyelids.
The operation was a success, he is just a little cockeyed!...
I have just returned home after spending a good part of the morning trying to buy a kitchen vegetable knife!! And no I did not manage to buy one. Many shops have stopped selling them, unless you buy a...
A couple were sat watching the tv. The husband kept flicking channels.
Golf
Porn
Golf
Porn
Golf
Porn
The wife says "For ****s sake, leave it on porn. You know how to play golf!!"...
A man boards a plane with six kids in tow. After they get settled in their seats, a woman across the aisle leans over to him and asks "Are all those kids yours?" "No I work for a condom factory" He...
I received an email from an hacker, claiming to use drive by exploit to gain access to my computer. More worryingly he knew my password which I had changed way back in June. I have reported this as...
"Let's say we brexit on the 31st October. Can any leave voters tell me what problems in your lives that will now be solved? How will leaving the EU improve life for you and your family? What is the...
One of the questions on Pointless was about Adam & Eve realising they were naked & having to wear clothes. Now my question is; if they were the first people on earth how did they know about...
Paddy went for an interview and he was very successful as he got the job. His new boss proceed to explain how things work and what he would be doing. "Right the pay you'll be starting on is £15" The...
I have a dog I need to re-home. It is a black and white terrier and tends to barks a lot.
If you are interested, let me know and I will jump over my neighbours fence and get it for you....
*** twice a week is good for your health. *** gives proper relaxation for your mind. *** refreshes you. After *** don't eat too much; go for more liquids. When *** try to stay in...
An undercover cop called at my farm in the sticks yesterday evening. "I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs" he said. "By all means officer, but just don't go in that field over there"...
