A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also...
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I'm a virgin & I'm not! Is there anything you can do to help me?"...
On a group of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by, as you might expect, a shipwreck: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1...
QUIZ of the week is tonight at 7pm (British time) Nothing to pay and nothing to download. All easy questions too. Just follow the link below to join in the fun.
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A lady walks into a Jaguar dealership and browses around. Suddenly she spots the most perfect, beautiful car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an...
A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the...
A lady of a certain age went in to hospital for a vaginal tuck!! when she woke up there were three bouquets of flowers. One from her hubby, One from her surgeon, and one from Willy on the Burns Ward -...
One night in the Six Bells, Stan says to Mike "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor" "Listen, you don't have to waste your time sitting in doctors surgeries," replies Mike....
At the Golf Club at the weekend there was an unfortunate accident. Two ladies were enjoying a quiet game and had just teed off when one of the ladies was hit in the head with a wayward golf ball,...
Council engineers Luke and John were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Luke,...
A child was taken to the doctor with a peanut stuck firmly in its ear. The doctor, unperturbed, advised the parent to pour just melted chocolate into the child's ear and wait for it to set. It would...
An elderly couple decided they just spent too much time and energy complaining about all their aches and pains. “Let’s agree to not say a word about our ailments,” suggested the wife. “We’ll talk...
Whilst on manoeuvres, the crew of a naval vessel were getting very bored. The captain decided entertainment was needed. Knowing one of the crew professed to be an amateur magician, he decided to put...
A motorist was pulled in for speeding on the M1 by traffic cops and asked to give his name and address. "My name is William Walter Wankin-Brake and I am the Sales Manager for the Bigger Ball, Better...
Stevie Wonder is playing his 1st gig in China and the place is packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice he asks if anyone has a request. One chap jumps out of his seat in the 1st row and...
Love, lust and marriage: LOVE -When you write poems about your partner. LUST -When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE -When all you write is cheques. LOVE -When your only concern is for your...
I went into a BP garage and said 'Can I have a can of petrol for my BMW please?'. The attendant thinks for a minute and says 'Sure, it seems like a fair swap to me''
An aggressive budgerigar announced “I’m the greatest budgie in the world”. To challenge this theory, the owner placed the pet into the cages of a series of other birds of increasing size. The budgie...
An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it to St.Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams. Don't worry about that", says St. Peter,...
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Colleen has been very difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she...